MERiE-isms

119. Living the Present But Looking Forward

2012-02-21T01:57:00.007+08:00

I have been inspired lately. Or should I say I'm trying to be as optimistic as I can the past few days. The days before seem PMS-ing-everyday. On some days, I get too emotional and lock myself up inside a cubicle until I feel somehow and a tiny bit relieved. You just have to go through those days. And of course praying helps.

I have finally laid down my plans. And I mean futuristic-ally and not just for tomorrow. You know I have been dreaming and just dreaming and just waiting and guess what?? Of course nothing happens. And then part of the 'lately' is the SNAP! Get up, don't whine and do something instead. Even just a really tiny step. And so I did. I'm just happy that I finally know where to head. Btw my plans are revokable?? How do you say it, can be changed if a really good job opportunity comes along. Lol.

And another part of this 'lately' is reviving resolutions and setting goals. One doesn't need a new year to be able to jot them down. So I'm sharing mine:

Stay healthy. Not just in terms of food but including exercise, and yes, stress level.
Start the dream business. Because I want it so bad.
Surely get a passport and go out of the country. The thing is my name is MErie (with an E) and not MArie. And it's so hard to defend it! I don't wanna live the rest of my life trying to change the Merie that I am into Marie. So if that will be the case this blog will be like Marieisms?? NO!
Read a lot. Read more. Current goal is to read 15 novels this year. 13 more! And everything that's subscribed in my GoogleReader. ~~And the modules that I write.~~
Be nice and friendly. Not that I'm not. It's just that it's quite hard and uuuh awkward to smile. :)
Priorities. Enough said.
SAVE MORE. Caps lock that is.
Write more. Blog more. Squeeze the juice out as much as possible!
Get closer and closer to my Potter.
OWN 2012. MAKE IT MY YEAR.

That simple. (Really now, Merie, simple you say??) I MUST! I think this the first time I wrote about goals and resolutions in a list. And this should be a reminder that I MUST! I must achieve these.

I give credit to a lot of materials I've been reading lately for self-help. I somehow brought back the confidence in me which I lost or misplaced somewhere during my PMS-ing-everyday period.

I guess I'm fueled up to drive! Yay!

Moving on part of the reason why I'm giddy is because I'm going to Caramoan babeh! I'm currently on a 6-day vacation leave from work and so I decided to go somewhere and Caramoan is the chosen destination. I'll be leaving tomorrow, later rather, and will try the PNR train going to Bicol. First time ko! And just before I started writing this entry I just finished packing. I have one backpack and a small shoulder bag. So let's play what's inside your bag! The first photo is the contents of my smaller bag.

the backpack

Why backpack? Cos we're going backpacking adventure! We didn't opt to avail any tour package believing that we can do cheaper by the cheapest they could offer. So wish us luck!

Have you noticed the editing, it's like Instagram-y?? Lol. First-world problem is if you don't have any Apple gadget you can't Instagram. So let the power of Photoshop take over! Haha! Wala lang. May masabi lang.

Also I update my daily musings aka Sentimental Musings Tumblr blog more often than this. :)

And as I bid this entry to ending, I pray that whatever is written here shall come to life according to my Potter's will. AMEN.

118. I Couldn't Ask for More

2012-01-06T04:12:00.009+08:00

I finally found someone, that knocks me off my feet. I finally found the one, that makes me feel complete. We started over coffee, we started out as friends. It's funny how from simple things, the best things begin.

It was in 2010 when I met someone that never occurred would genuinely be special in my heart. In 2011, a story of us finally unfolded.

He is the finest. One of the smartest people I know – that I love conversations with him. We can talk about absolutely ANYTHING until dawn and we still wouldn’t run out of things to talk about, (except that he easily falls asleep ^^.) He makes me realize things. He doesn't judge me. He would let me see the bright side and even the brighter side. He talks sense and he still can be goofy. He knows how to juggle fun, work and play. He can be too serious and he can still be jokeful. We can talk about the future, our careers, our plans, our dreams, or play around just like little kids contented with candies and lollipops. He is a man of truth. A man of balance. He loves walking that I began loving it too. We have walked miles and miles together and bound to walk a lot more. Above all, I know he is God-sent.

It’s been a year. It hasn’t been a smooth ride. Pitfalls and highs were and is still part of the journey. There were lots of funs and laughter, but even tears. Despite, I couldn’t be thankful enough. And I couldn’t ask for more.

I love you.

It was just a simple celebration that we had. We have work to attend to, not to mention that we both have exams that luckily falls on our day. I gave him a heart-shaped caked made from Belgian chocolate from Tous les Jours, a memorabilia and the card in it (of course!) and a pair of slippers. It was too hard to decide what to give him. :(

It has some 24k gold sprinkles. I didn't know gold can be edible.

Oh his sweetness! I was just so thrilled with the things he gave me that day! They were all so me!

He gave me this really adorable bag because he said I'm sentimental.
I love it!

Lindt Swiss Thins!!

A puzzle of a photo of us together. I think it was so sweet of him to come up with such :)

We took a lot of pictures but we're surprised that they weren't saved. Not a single photo at all. :( So here's the only photo of us that day.

Dear God, I know why there’s us it’s because of You. I am grateful that You included him in my life story.

117. The Art of Making Others Happy

2011-12-19T02:56:00.004+08:00

Making others happy is an ultimate goal. While making others happy, there is also the feeling of inner joy, of fulfillment, when you know you have been a part of someone's happiness, when at times, you are the reason why they feel happy.

This is what I felt when a Pastora in our church told me "Tinupad mo ang pangarap naming makarating sa Makati.." Simple words but touched me deeply. It was only a simple dream, I'm thankful that I, together with my family and boyfriend, have been instruments in making this a reality.

It was after our church service that we invited them to join us watch the Spectacular Spectrum at the Ayala Triangle Gardens and at the same time have dinner with us. At first they had second thoughts but eventually gave in.

We haven't even stepped on the grounds of the garden, but they, most especially the young ones, were already amazed by the Christmas lights and decors they saw. Admittedly, they told us that they have never been inside the Makati/Ayala malls. We arrived at the Ayala Triangle about 15mins before the start of the show. Even without the music yet and even without the light dance, they already walked around the gardens and took pictures. Not long after, the show began. It was during that time that I found inner joy that day. I saw their genuine smiles! Their bright faces watching and their hands clapping in amazement of what they were currently seeing. It simply spells happiness and gratitude.

Of course, the short show have to end. And though we waited quite a long time for us to be served, we had a hearty dinner at (guess where guess where??) Amici. They don't pay me for posting their restau. It just happened that the kid really likes carbonara so I brought them there. Hearty dinner and talks over pizza and pasta. We even had desserts from Caramia. Gelatos!!!

And because, they haven't been in Ayala Malls, we brought them there too!

Didn't know that there's a new set of songs for Spectacular Spectrum. I guess there were three different sets of songs played that night.

So there. If ever you got the chance, the resources, in making others happy even in the simplest forms, please do so. Let's make this world a happier place. :)

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others
cannot keep it from themselves.

~ Sir James Barrie ~

116. The Last 2011 Saturdate

2011-12-18T02:22:00.008+08:00

It is just now while I'm writing this blog that I realized that yesterday was indeed our last Saturdate for 2011 (2012 is fast approaching!). The following Saturdays are bisperas for Christmas and New Year and as much as I/we would love to spend it together, I'm bound to go to the province up north for a mini Reyes reunion. And he, of course, needs to spend it with his relatives. I am not sure about the New Year but his Mom's coming home.

M:I4 Ghost Protocol and Christmas shopping was our plan and kudos to us we stick to the plan!

Hold on... We were supposed to watch the movie last Friday before heading to work, but he had "something to do" so I just waited and spent some me-time hours inside a coffee shop along Ayala, (and that I was able to move forward reading Pygmy.)

Going on with the blog post... It was both our first time to try IMAX! Kami na ang super late ma-try! A few days before, he was asking me how does it feel like watching in an IMAX theater, and I said I haven't tried it myself as well. And so, we both thought that Ghost Protocol would be the IMAX-must-try movie for us. The movie did not fail us! What we paid for is so worth it. The first-time-experience would be unforgettable. Lol. Btw, thank God for Sodexo GCs as Christmas bonus. :) I would love to write a movie review but the cold sheets are calling my soul to dreamland. I guess I would have to settle giving a 4.5 out of 5 rating. Why? It's... It's so AWESOME-- simply put.

Of course we talked about the movie as soon as we can. Its awesomeness and yes, of course there would be some "loopholes". We talked about the "possibilities of the impossibilities" of the movie, etc etc. In our daily normal or at times, not-so-normal conversations, I just find myself amazed with how he thinks and those information loaded in his brain cells. Maybe one of the reasons why I always look forward talking to him.

Instead of eating, we began with the Christmas shopping ora mismo! But when we're about to get a shopping basket to aid us, we felt our tummies grumble. All restaurants and fast-food-chains are jampacked and luckily we eyed a table for two so we grabbed the rare chance though we don't really favor eating in a fastfood.

Dinner was rather fast 'cos we were so eager to buy those stuffs we saw. In actuality, we didn't. Lol. We passed by Dimensione, a home furnishing shop. We were just supposed to look for a gift for his Lola when I saw cute gift items! Thank God for that shop! Lucky enough that it was a one-stop shop for me. I was able to buy gifts for the youth in our youth ministry. He was also able to buy gifts for his Lola, sister and niece. :) Our hands were full when we walked out of that shop. We did a little bit more shopping for his relatives since I was done with my part 1 list.

some of the stuffs we bought. aren't they lovely pretty little things?

We deserved another meal so we decided to eat again afterwards.

I sincerely feel a deeper sense of happiness when I'm shopping -- be it for myself more so for others. For myself, I fill fulfilled that I have the capability to buy something I want, and not just something that I need. For others -- I don't know I just love giving. I just love seeing the smiles on their faces. Or maybe others don't smile but the glisten in their eyes. Or maybe I just love making others feel that someone remembers them. I just love making others happy.

Ever since grade school days, I've been a helper in gift wrapping, until I was already the one doing the giftwrapping. I was more than thankful when the shop gave me paperbags for each of the item I bought! Giftwrapping made easy! I just had to slip it inside, seal it and tape the gift card. And tada! The pan-de-sal-is-inside-looking gifts ^_^

It's more than the movie, the food and the shopping experience that we shared. It's our togetherness. It's the feeling that you have someone beside you be it for fun like watching the movie and savoring on food; be it for the hustle and bustle of the Christmas rush shopping; be it for being a blessing to others -- doing these things with someone you love is definitely more than anything material, not even the best shopping and movie experience can afford. And for this, I love you. And again, Lord, thank You for him.

115. The Distracting Centerpiece (the Christmas so-called Party)

2011-12-09T00:51:00.005+08:00

the distracting centerpiece

The title itself tells you how I didn't enjoy much the company Christmas party (which was held @ Sofitel). I don't blame the events planner/s or committee or whatever. It's just that, a few days before Christmas and I. STILL. DO. NOT. FEEL. THIS. SUPPOSED-TO-BE-JOLLY-SEASON. How sad, right?

However, one good thing that happened that day is that I got to spend a LOT of time with him, away from our workstations.

I don't know what happened to me but I used to take a lot of pictures whenever 'something's happening' like events. And then I stopped.

So here's all that I've got.

preps @ the salon

us, aren't us a lovely couple?
please say yes, thanks! lol

And that last photo is me who didn't enjoy much but got tired of dance partying. Three things:

few food choices and not that sumptuous
the erm politics
I DID NOT WIN THE RAFFLE! The iPad2, the home theatre, the LCD TV, the iPod touch, the laptop... even those consolation prizes like USB, earphones, GCs... !!! They are all aloof of me!!!!But why??!

So we didn't go to any after-party and instead had our snacks at Wendy's and then we both went home to my place and took our very well-deserved rest.

About the title: It's not just about the centerpiece. Maybe I'm just a cranky young lady in the event who deem like everyone's annoying and a distraction. It's just so different now.

114. Happy 11th

2011-12-06T02:34:00.009+08:00

I prayed and then he came into my life. And we're now spending happy days together -- will spend more blissful days in the future.

I think this is the first ever blog post about our day (except for the birthday/our-day). We go by really simple -- our happiness is simply being with each other.

Or might I say, we celebrated it in advance last Saturday. We went home together to my residence (since he's supposed to accompany me for a job interview early Saturday which didn't push through). Our late midnight snacks was well-served at Shakey's, Times. Went home and did some computations on our tax (lol our kind of bonding) and had some sleep. We left home past lunch -- to Makati malls first then to our favorite Ayala Triangle Gardens. We have been there last week and have already watched the Spectacular Spectrum, but still we watched it all over again from a different angle. Then we went to RP Manila wherein we did some shopping for outfits for the company Christmas party. After shopping, we had our dinner and finally watched The Adventures of TinTin.

For the day itself...

I made a personal card instead of buying one. Seems like I already bought each kind of the 'monthsary' card available in the bookstores.

I'm short of budget, and it's Christmas season (lol for excuses) so I gave him Goldilocks choco crunch polvoron. It's still sweet ya know!

The boyfriend gave me these.

the Yakult says 'Maligayang Pasko'

But of course, it's definitely more than these.

Words won't suffice to convey how much I feel for you, how happy I am to be with you.
I love you.

113. Birthmonth Day 26 Spectacular Spectrum

2011-11-27T02:33:00.002+08:00

Second year in a row. The first time we watched the light and sound show at the Ayala Triangle Gardens, we were just really close friends. But this time around I shall tell it this way --- the BOYFRIEND and I again witnessed the Spectacular Spectrum, the light and sound show, at the Ayala Triangle Gardens. Ain’t it a really nice sequence of events?? But indeed, we watched the show and seems like we’re setting a tradition for the both of us.

We had lunch at Amici at the Ayala Triangle. Pizza and pasta and Caramia desserts = one delightful afternoon!

Rouge cake by Caramia

We walked to the Ayala Malls for some ~fun~ called Timezone and strolling. We eventually went back to the Ayala Triangle in time to see the show…

And it was wonderful though we both agree that we loved the previous year’s better than this year. Last year was more ‘dramatic’. This year was more lively and jolly.

So there, I must admit that while watching Spectacular Spectrum that I first felt the Christmas season.

112. Birthmonth Day 19 Finally Mr. Hari ng Sablay

2011-11-20T03:53:00.000+08:00

No matter how long it took him, he graduated!

I have this close friend whom I always pick on when it comes to ‘studies’. It’s a friendly teasing and some sort of inside joke. So we celebrated his graduation at his crib. He was the host. Gujab gujab Eo! :) It was also good catching up with my friends though we were also together last week. We ate and ate and ate and talked and spent time on the psychological tests. We went home at around 6 in the morning. I can’t remember when was the last time I stayed late with my HS friends.

So the photos…

Nel| Chi | Mon

Da| Julie | Beng

Gil| Eo (the Graduate!)| Nik| Da| Me

Gil w the UFC belt| Me with the prototype made by Eo

Group shot!!

Before going to the party, I with Julie and her sibs and Mom watched a mini fashion show at SM for the ladies’ wear. Fail photos lol.

Fun weekend again!

111. Birthmonth Day 16 Good Morning

2011-11-17T01:57:00.003+08:00

Since my shift changed to 15:00-24:00 – honestly, life has been pretty much eat, work and sleep. And seldom that I wake up early morning to feel the warmth (and not the heat) of the sun, to hear the friendly chirping of the birds, and smell the fragrance of mornings.

So one fine day, EARLY MORNING :), I accompanied my boyfriend for a job interview somewhere in Bonifacio Global City. I just loved that morning. Though I lacked sleep, I feel refreshed. It was indeed a good morning. I stayed and waited at the nearest coffee shop.

I loved that moment when I was alone in an early morning inside my favourite coffee shop sipping on the seasonal drink I bought. And though I was busy myself studying the modules, I felt relaxed.

Thoughts crossed my mind. I mused. I was wishful thinking. I felt free. But I have to snap back to reality. I still need to meet the afternoon.

Thank You for waking me up each morning.

110. Birthmonth Day 12 Of Food and Music

2011-11-13T04:19:00.001+08:00

It was indeed a weekend of food and music that spells F-U-N. I was with my high school friends and we spent the birthday of Chi and mine as well. We had a really stomach-filling dinner at Yakimix Mall of Asia branch.

Let the photos do the talking.

A little surprise from Yakimix! :)

Group shot!!

After which we went to Music Bank, Macapagal branch and belted our hearts out. :)

The boyfriend joined us as well :)

I thank God for friends!

109. Birthmonth Day 9: The Yearly Birthday Post -- It's Superbly Special

2011-11-10T01:51:00.014+08:00

There were times in my life that I wished I was never born; that I loathe even the thought of my existence. But each time, a new breed of gratitude and valuation arises. Thank You.

I started this tradition way back in 2005 (from the blog that has been deleted 2004-2007) up until now. So how late this yearly birthday post may seem, I'm still posting it. So some rundown:

2008
2009
2010

And for this year...

Last year, my birthday was memorable. Memorable in a sense that it was awkward celebrating it and memorable as someone made it special. This year, that same someone made it, must I say, superbly special and of course, memorable. Truth is, I can't think of an appropriate adjective to describe this year's birthday.

Two S: Sweet Surprise.

I'm keeping this short so let the photos do the talking.

What jumpstarted my birthday: so the boyfriend went straight to our house here in LP (came from Taguig) just after midnight and gave me these. :)

these cakes are yummy

plus that sweet little thing inside

the happy girl

showing off the timepiece ^^

At work, colleagues and close officemates surprised me as well.

with the pretty pink and purple cake

the beautifully covered surprise gift. aircon ang laman.

with the teammates

dinner treat at Little Asia

I was always picking on their not-so-normal big spoon each time I eat in their restau

Some of the stuffs I got:

a big card with greetings from my Estimates family

a rightly spelled named cup of caramel macchiato and cake

these guys are really sweet!

novel from one of my fave authors

the cake

another cake
I got a total of six cakes!

stuffs from the boyfriend

TIMEX watch which I was eyeing and not telling him but he chose the same thing :)

and

the sweetest card EVER!

Many thanks to everyone who made these things possible! :)

The greatest gift is this life, and the grace that makes this life and after-life living.

p.s. no picture of me and him . he's not a fan of taking photos..
p.p.s. dont you notice how later, shorter and lazier my birthday posts turn out to be each year? lol

108. Birthmonth Day 8: Some me-time

2011-11-08T23:12:00.000+08:00

Little perks for myself a day before my birthday.

monthly maintenance aka trim
red-cos-it's-my-birthday nails
red-cos-it's-my-birthday top

at the salon with the newly-blow-dried-hair

the red nails

the somehow red top (plus the pants)

Thinking to have a sudden birthday leave. But boyfriend's coming over tonight. We'll end up going to work together. :)

106. Birthmonth Day 6: With my Girls

2011-11-06T23:55:00.004+08:00

If there is one thing in my life that I am always thankful of -- these are my three dearest friends that form a huge part of me. We've been together for more than a decade and we know each other too well. Despite the different paths we are taking in terms of our careers (not to mention our worlds apart work shifts!) we are united in our trusted friendship. Though we live in just one humble city (okay that was until one of us moved a city farther down the map), our schedules don't meet, so, yesterday was an awesome time to catch up with my girls. Of course we chose our ever-so-reliable ATC for our moments together.

We first had our dinner at Amici. This is again somehow my fault 'cos I was again craving for Carbonara. Pizza and Pasta for dinner which we all love and helped appease our tummies.

Spaghetti Alla Carbonara Pasta

Margherita pizza

Linguine Fantastico Pasta

We also had our desserts from Caramia. Likewise, the desserts also satisfied our hunger for something sweet. Yummm!

Mango Sans Rival

Pistachio Gelato

We somehow got annoyed with Amici's slooowww service 'cos we thought we are gonna be late for our reserved seating for Tower Heist. But thank God, we were just in time. We even had a glimpse of a few trailers and caught some scary shits from ~~The Devil Inside trailer~~. One of my friends wants to watch it BUT movies that involve exorcism is a big NO-NO for me. Only when I'm with churchmates and pastors will I watch such movies. :) Anyway, yes, we watched Tower Heist and it was a good-watch and sorta feel-good movie. I have this thing for movies that has some stealing in it. (Disclaimer: Spoilers below!)

But just what I thought while watching the movie there are some goofs in it which I later on checked the internet to prove myself that I was right. Thank goodness for IMDB, I now have references to my doubtful thoughts:

A car that is entirely made of gold, for me, is IMMOVABLE! So what they did during the robbery of the said car is REALLY IMPOSSIBLE. What's more to this is when the employees received their shares of the chopped-of car and still they were able to lift those parts with their hands. I was able to try to lift a pure gold bar and it was too heavy so I don't think any of the above-mentioned scenes are realistic. :) (IMDB's say...)
I am aware of that chess game Shaw was telling Kovacs because I somehow became a fan of the sports when I was little, as a chess player. The game did not push through as one of the players quit/resigned because the "sacrifice of the queen" will surely and obviously lead to a checkmate. (IMDB's say)
And that girl who just passed the BAR exam and can already practice law might be one of the "awwww.." moments but can't be really factual. (IMDB's say).

So there. BUT, I still must say, I enjoyed the movie. :)

And most of all, I enjoyed the company of my bestest friends! No decent photos taken. :(

"...And you help each other realize that all the things you want to be...you already are."
---Gretchen Witter (Sasha Alexander), Dawson's Creek

105. Birthmonth Day 5: Happy Birthday Baby

2011-11-05T23:59:00.001+08:00

The surprise was a little fail but still, I made it! Yay!

Fail, 'cos he knows that I was just in Starbucks waiting for him but I was already in the office trying to do last minute patching of other dedications for him. And while I was doing it, he passed by the area where I chose to stay, because he seldom pass by that area and what a perfect timing that during that time I was trying to hide he suddenly thought of passing by that area and I was like O_O when he turned his head and saw me. HAHA! Define fail. :)

Anyways, I still pushed through with the little surprise.

that's the Nike pair I was supposed to give him and which I proudly chose for him:)

the greeting card with birthday greetings from officemates inside
the Northface bag -- my gift to him
the table-tennis themed birthday cupcakes

Thank You Lord for bringing him to this world.

104. Birthmonth Day 4: Before his and our day

2011-11-05T20:29:00.004+08:00

I filed for a vacation leave this day until the eighth of November (having no idea that 7th will be declared holiday), because we were supposed to be somewhere to celebrate our birthdays. And though it didn't push through I did not ask to revert the filed leave since 1)I don't even know how to spend the 14 days left of my total vacation leaves 2)I'm still having the hangover of the super long weekend I didn't want to go back to work. And 3)I already have long planned to surprise him. :)

I had the luxury of time to sleep so I woke up later than my typical working day and even lazied myself off in eating, taking a bath, dressing up and preparing the things I needed to bring. I even had the extra time to check on my online accounts including reading the feeds in my GoogleReader.

The first stop is to claim the cupcakes I ordered from Cupcakes and Beyond. I was really on a tight budget but I wanted some table tennis themed cupcakes (because he's a really good table tennis player) and Cupcakes and Beyond didn't fail me! The cupcakes were simple and nice that as soon as I saw them I got so excited to already give it to him. I ordered two dozens -- one for his day and another one for our day. It doesn't only look nice but it really tastes good. I was only able to taste the red velvet flavor but the chocolate flavor tastes good as well according to him. Plus, the price is reasonably affordable!

the cupcakes :)

Because my initial plan was to give him that pair that he was eyeing (but then he bought it ahead, the day before I was supposed to buy it!!!!), so I was actually confused on what to give him:

1)a guitar because he really wanted to learn how to play it
2)boxing gloves but I don't think it would be appropriate hihi
3)bag.

After going back and forth the Ayala malls in Makati, I finally decided to give him a bag, but I still had to choose among some brands. Bratpack was the solution to my dilemma. I bought him a Northface bag from BratPack because the Northface shop didn't have the stock of the design I wanted.

After the tiresome search for the gift, I headed to The McKinley Hills and spent the next three hours of waiting for the tick of the midnight at Starbucks. There I prepared the cards with the dedications from our teammates and, my personal card for him. I felt like I was an art student back in gradeschool. I have always wanted to give my gifts some personal touch to it.

before I messed the table with cutouts
My set of Staedtler pens will run out of ink anytime soon!
I gave him the card that says "One dessert Two spoons" which describes us in a way :)

the inside of the card

Last night just before I surprised him in the office, I started palpitating. Blame the two shots in my venti caramel macchiato. This is something different from the usually misspelled 'Mary'.

So how did the surprise turn out? I'll post that next. It's already part of Day 5! :)

Just as long as I can make you happy, special and feel that at least someone's blessed and grateful to God for bringing you to this world on your birthday.

103. Birthmonth Day 3

2011-11-04T03:09:00.004+08:00

CLICK HERE

What comes to my mind right now is Caramoan (and Ilocos, too). But plans didn't push through. I guess it's fine as the weather is gloomy as well. It's just that I wanna be somewhere near the sea during my five days of being away from work. I don't even have an idea right now how to spend those days.

Doing things you love doing brings inner joy. When you have accomplished something and you see it in front of your eyes there's a certain feeling of fulfillment. You might feel proud. You might show off. Only to be laughed at...

102. Birthmonth Day 2: Back to Work

2011-11-03T03:08:00.009+08:00

Before I set to travel to dreamland last night, I checked my company e-mail. The next thing I know I was already thinking of filing an EL (emergency leave) the next day and the next day as I am already on leave this coming Friday. The number of unread messages in my inbox is so overwhelming which when translated into few words is only like this:

"Welcome back to work. Tasks awaiting."

I felt really lazy at work a while ago. But despite the laziness, I was able to effectively participate in the meeting and somehow finished one task. Dinner at Sicilian was surprisingly hearty -- a really good talk and sharing with two of my teammates over the carbonara, which I again craved.

On other note, don't you think that some people are just SO LUCKY? Luck is on their side even when they seem like they don't deserve it or they didn't even work hard for it. I mean, that's LUCK. Random question.

On other other note: I can't help but mention about Coldplay's possible Asian tour for 2012 that might include MANILA. Trying to suppress ze excitement.

Hours passed by like a breeze and soon it was time to go home.

Today seemed short. A handful of thoughts and questions inside my head are still hanging up to this point. When's the right time? How many times will I tell myself to 'always be thankful' when inside me I know there's longing of feeling of being sincerely fulfilled with what I'm doing. Backstage has always been my humble abode. But sometimes, curiosity of how does it feel like to be on-stage arise on the surface. Maybe stepping out into the spotlight's not bad at all. And maybe from just being at the backstage I'll appreciate better the whole theatre. Just maybe.

no.101 Birthmonth Day 1.2 -- DIY

2011-11-01T22:40:00.006+08:00

I woke up with the familiar sound of the lovable kid, Otep, who is also my parents' godson. If not because of the time spent playing with this kid, chasing him around, playing ball and the ever-so-effective hide-and-seek with him and from time to time annoying him, today's gonna be so lame. But of course while Otep was inside his dreamland for siesta, I cleaned the shoe cabinet (sort of pt.2 of my cleaning yesterday) and did some DIY.

from flare pants

from a dress

Ok that pretty sums up my today. I'm gonna kill my time by trying to finish the news article for our company's newsletter and will try my best to compose THE e-mail for Shing. I can't believe I need to go back to work tomorrow.

Hello November. Please be kind enough to be nice.

We let little things annoy the hell out of us. And from little they become so big we get furious. Every little thing gets affected. You in turn annoy others, though not purposely. Things may get chaotic and be out of control. Those little things, at the end of the day will help us realize, we shouldn't have allowed them to get in our nerves. The day should've been better.

no.100 Birthmonth Day 1

2011-11-01T01:41:00.003+08:00

What a good coincidence -- my 100th post falls on the first day of my birth month.

Anyways, while the world is celebrating Halloween, others are in cemeteries to visit their deceased loved ones, and still others are enjoying the long weekend on some vacation spot, I am at home, nowhere to go, and cleaned my room.

I have this thing for.. paperbags

It's already sort of a family bonding that when everybody's home on a holiday, we clean the house -- each one tasked to do a thing. And of course, I opted to clean my own spot, particularly my humble closet -- clothing and accessories.

After cleaning, I was on my bed and suddenly thought of 'hey! It's my birth month already!' Soon I'll turn a year older and hopefully wiser. Then I realized that what a good timing it is that I welcome November with a really tidy room. :) Feels so clean.

Sometimes you just find yourself thinking and asking yourself where are you now from where you've been a year ago. And then you think of a year ahead. Thoughts of frustrations, of dreams, of plans. Laying them down on the curves of your brain. That hopefully anytime soon, they'll be reality.

Praying that my birth month will be nice to me.

“Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.”

no. 99 nice!

2011-10-30T00:45:00.009+08:00

It's, I must say, a nice week -- from tweaking my blog's layie until this point that I'm writing another entry.

First, there was less workload for me as I've completed one task the previous week.

Second, I got my pay and my bonus. I'm supposed to be filthy rich this week until the next pay but thank you tax, you owe me a lot. Because of the bonus, two of my shuttlemates, Remar and Tin, treated us to a sumptuous dine out. :) Life's sweet.

Third, I've managed to write a blog entry after five months! It's just a short one, enough to announce my comeback.

Fourth, one of my officemates gave me this. Swe-eet!

Fifth, I love giving surprises! For my teammate's birthday, I, with the help of other two teammates, gave her a little and simple one -- balloons, dedications from other officemates, a cake, a white jacket and our birthday greetings.

I guess it paid off as she treated us to a hearty dinner at My Thai and Pho-Hoa. :)

only got a shot of the desserts

Sixth, it's a super long weekend and I started it earlier last Friday.

Seventh, it's the time of the year for Youth Annual. It just happened hours ago. This is probably the last youth annual I can attend to being a 'legit' youth, not-to-mention that my being youth was already expired and was just granted an extension. :D I would love to share photos but unfortunately I don't have anything to share. Fail, right? I don't even have a decent shot of my Ifugao outfit. Our theme was "Kabataang Pinoy, Bayan Ka ni Yahweh" (Filipino-themed) explaining why I have to wear such. The annual event was a success. Of course glory belongs to God.

Lastly, my mom finally met him. Same goes with my churchmates. Same goes with my brother. We even had a family dinner with him. Just happy. :)

Today, I feel loved, blessed, glad, happy, almost-bliss. I am so happy that I'm afraid sadness might come so soon. But just like how I faced the recent days, positivity and faith that good things are on their way to you, are my weapons to face the coming days. Thank You, Lord. I know this peacefulness within comes from you.

Everyday is worth thanking for.

no.98 after five months

2011-10-24T01:58:00.006+08:00

This starts a new chapter in my life -- be it cyber or real. I guess. A point wherein I want to rise from a flat line.

Life has been constant for the past months (Well, except for my special someone that makes each day distinct from the rest). Simply spelled -- WORK. Life changed when I started working where I am now. And it even changed a LOT when I was moved to a 15:00-0:00 shift. I wake up, I go to work. I work. At the end of the shift, company shuttle drops me home. And then I sleep. And then I wake up just the same to end up doing the same. For months.

This... Until I longed for a "life". This is what I realized after telling my boss "gusto ko ng buhay..." I was trying to request to move me to an earlier shift but to no avail I guess. That was Friday.

Pondered.

Saturday. Maybe it was a huge step. Felt like I was a dormant volcano for the longest time. Eruption. Felt like there was a need to do again those things I love doing. Those that it seemed like I gave up already. Maybe, this time, try the other way around. Not allowing work to always get in the way instead of making work an excuse.

Be alive again.

And so I am finally back.

no.97 it's time...

2011-05-28T23:43:00.007+08:00

Hello. It's already tiring to say that after bla bla bla months I'm back bla I'm writing again bla bla. Haha!

Writing now compared to the previous post, I believe that I'm better, I'm feeling better, I've learned, I'm a lot okay. Today I've said to myself that it's TIME and I want that this time, this is finally it. No more slacking and laziness. Just towards betterment. I'm trying to help myself a lot lately (and some people too). And I keep reminding myself how powerful my thoughts are so I am trying my best to push negativity away, in any form. It's hard, it'll be hard but as long as I'm trying. The past days, I've been really down. But on those times that I have learned and realized things. And I think it helped me. Every situation no matter what kind makes who we are, and it's just so much better that you take each one as a stepping stone or a prerequisite to self improvement.

Maybe the rain helped me a lot also. According to PAGASA, rainy season is coming and I'm happyyyy. Rainy seasons are more likeable than summer. For the past days it has been raining. Of course, I love it. And today it also rained! When it's raining the temperature's cool and all I wanna do is snuggle myself with my blanket and pillows. Voila! I slept all day! But when I decided to finally get out of bed, I ate and ate and ate and then I made myself 'productive' by doing these stuffs:

Yeah, I doodled and sketched. And who knows what can happen next? I am crossing my fingers. Oh please oh please let them come to life.

So there. I'm not up for a long post nor a photo-extensive one so I'm ending with one last note-to-self photo...

I would also like to add that I have also decided to jump outside the norms of my posts here. Hmmm.. Let's see..

I will never be the same 'cos You came near from the everlasting to the world we live...

96. first for 2011

2011-03-26T22:40:00.007+08:00

Hey, it's time to update! Unannounced hiatus -- I'm good at it -- once again. Wasn't able to write since my birthday post last year. Apart from the previous years, as you can see, no bye-2010-hello-2011 post as well. Not that I'm busy, which may be partly true at times (yes, partly and at times lol), but more of 'cos I'm lazy to update. Too lazy that I can only "easy-blog" through Tumblr, and micro-blog through Twitter. There... But yo, zzup I'm back, errr or at least for this post.

First, I've finally given up THIS URL and embraced the being of my blog itself. New URL is obviously -- merieisms.blogspot.com -- Merie's musings and whereabouts, more than what you see and hear of me.

Boy, I miss blogging so I might end up writing a long, photo-extensive post. *winks*

Nothing BIG nor special for this post. Just the feel of wanting and finally laying my hands on the keyboard to writing a blog post.

The first quarter of 2011 will end in a matter of days and honestly I don't believe I've accomplished a quarter's worth of something to be proud of. Some people think I just let opportunities pass by in front of me and to which I would calmly answer that I'm patiently waiting. Sometimes I feel the same way they feel. I would be frantic in the insides, my thoughts racing, unrealized dreams juggling, priorities changing ranks and a lot of things bombarding that I end up just getting confused. The neurons, the brain cells -- they're like in a hurry. Like c'mmon, we're living in a really fast-paced world with technology booming one after the other. These surroundings don't help me at all. That at one point I broke down silently, on the corner of my bed and asked myself repeatedly why and when?

I don't wanna go through all the drama so I'm fast-forwarding to what my thoughts have become. I am thankful of where I am as of the moment. I haven't given up on my dreams. I have acquired another set of goals. Nothing special really happened. Just that I'm clinging ever more tightly to my faith to that One who laid my purpose way before I had a clue of anything. Think of me as so spiritual and religious all you want (as if my blog hasn't been like that ever since) but I just trust there is something especially prepared for me. My faith keeps me going. And the people who truly know and trust in me fuels it.

And sooooo.. Seconds tick. Days pass. History is continuously written. Life goes on. Where to go but to move forward.

Teehee it felt so good to write again.

And now for the real update (this is where the photo-extensive part comes in).

Haven't been to places for three months unless it's company-funded. *grins*

February 13 -- I've finally set foot on the historical island of Corregidor. At one point, during my college years, I dreamt of becoming a historian because of Jose Rizal and my history subjects. Didn't appreciate it back in grade school and high school. Philippine's history is so rich and having been able to tour just this island, made me appreciate the existence of my homeland. I love the food, the scenery, the wind, the sea, surroundings, and the story embarked on each of the relics and remains.

February 26 - 27 -- We had our biggest team building. From just a batch, we've grown into five. And the girl scout that I am who loves camping and adventure enjoyed every bit of activity we had. More than that is the bond that was shared and tightened.

pioneers

March 1 -- One year mark. I've reached it. It's something good to include in the CV ;) As part of the pioneer batch of the department I'm in, I can proudly say that without the aid of nine hard-headed analysts, it wouldn't have gotten where it is now. Ok, some bragging included in there.

a year ago when we were just nine

So that's it for the update.

It's SUMMER already but I have not made any plans. Maybe a trip to the beach with someone special will suffice a summer getaway. :) Aherrm.

See. Not much to tell about. Want me to rant? I can't put them into writing anyway :)

I'll leave you a latest photo of me. I feel so refreshed :)

Pressed but not crushed. Persecuted not abandoned. Struck down but not destroyed. Blessed beyond the curse. His joy is gonna be my strength. Though the sorrow may last for the night, the joy comes in the morning...

photo credits:
L. Salud
R. Naranjo, Jr.

2010 Yearly Birthday Post

2010-11-30T16:34:00.001+08:00

This year's birthday is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Didn't have my usual celebrations. Didn't have any pakains. No something from the orig4 (my bestfriends). Not a dinner with my family. Or a simple salu-salo with my youth ministry. Maybe 'cos this is the first time that I have a job on my birthday. The past birthdays mostly I was a student and the past two years I was a professional bum. Or maybe 'cos I met new people -- the people who I am with constantly everyday. Or simply because yearly it's just different, but this year with a TOTALLY, but just like most of my birthdays, it's MEMORABLE.

My birthday fell on a weekday, Tuesday.

The day before, I thought my birthday wouldn't be good, and then the night before, I thought it will be alright.

The night before...

Thanks to someone. He's one of the reasons why I felt it was my birthday; why I felt special on my special day; why I was happy on my birthday. I was with him after working hours because he said he has a "little surprise." The funny thing though is that I helped him prepare the surprise for me. We were in search for a Starbucks blueberry cheesecake that he's supposed to give to me and that I'm supposed to blow the candle with it as soon as the clock ticks 12AM. But FAIL. Lol. Every Starbucks, and not just Starbucks but every coffee shop, from 6750, to Greenbelt to those in Ayala Ave weren't selling my blueberry cheesecake. O_O Blueberry cheesecake not meant for me that night. :( So after all the searching, we ended up eating dinner in a Japanese restaurant we found somewhere while in search for the blueberry cheesecake. Wonder what's with blueberry cheesecake? First, because I like it. Second, because I like like it. Third, because I like like like blueberry cheesecake. No seriously, apart from I like it blueberry cheesecake is espesyal.

After dinner, we went somewhere where he handed me the gift. And upon seeing my gift I was speechless. It's CHUCK PALAHNIUK'S FIGHT CLUB. You know how I'm a sucker for books. And this book -- I've been wanting to own a copy since like forever but every time I try to buy one, it was always out of stock. It was meant to come from him. Haha! I was really really really happy to finally own a copy. I don't think he has an idea of how big of a deal is that book for me. I said thank you countless times cos I am really really thankful. Speechless. Thankful. And then he sang the happy birthday song. Uuuuh.. I found it swee-eet. Mushy much? Shut up. It's my birthday post!

These things he had done made my day really really special and it deserves to be like the highlight of this post. Special. Sweet. I'm so grateful that at one point in my life our paths crossed, I met him. Really really grateful. I can't think him enough.

Nov 9

the birthday presents

So that was the early part of my birthday and then I went home, took a bath, dressed up and went to the salon. I had my hair blow-dried, had my nails painted and then headed to work. I was late but I didn't mind. It was my birthday. Greetings here and there. And then there's my BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE from CHEESECAKE ETC. (still from him). And then something from Tine, one of my bestfriends, -- a Navi planner, she baked cupcakes for me (it was deliciousssss!) and a letter that made me almost tear up. Hate you Tine! And then got a stuffed toy from someone as well.

But despite all the greetings and stuffs (oh btw thank you Facebook for making people remember my birthday!), and despite my blow-dried and newly red-painted nails, I didn't feel like it was my birthday at all. There had been some conflict until the end of the day. And it was left hanging... I don't wanna recall that day, but wait, it's part of why my November 9, 2010 is memorable.

Oh wait, saw a fireworks display and it made me feel somehow okay. :)

Nov 10

Had a movie night out with my movie-buddy, TotoyPitoy (Dear Julio, you'll never be wholesome, ok??). All on him. It was his birthday treat for me. We watched You Again and it was a feel-good movie. And then we talked about matters of okayyyy everything. (Hint: When the two of us talk it's always about ~one person~ lol).

And then let me just relay the rest of my November tales...

Nov 13

My cousin Joanne arrived!!! I haven't seen her since 2005. Did a little shopping for our Bora trip/

Nov 14 - Nov 17

BORACAY!!!

Had fun with my cousins, Joanne and Kuya Jay, and Ate Malou.

sole survivor of FlyFish!

nightouts

atv

REYES
(my middle name is Reyes, ok?!)

Prolly this be one of my favorite photos apart from having a photo with my gorgeous cousin (we can only have photos together every ‘n’ years) the things I love are captured here…the sky…the sea…the beach…and Starbucks.take me back there!

and more photos...

Nov 18 - 21

BOHOL!

Still with my cousin and the two most special people in my workplace. Didn't take pictures. Just grabbed them from the officemate.

at the Hinagdanan cave

had dinner at the floating restaurant and night river cruise
aaaah peace of mind!

at the man-made forest

Nov 25

Karaoke Night!!! There's something about Karaoke singing that uplifts the mood when you do it with the people you'll definitely have fun doing it. Just yourself, the mic, the lyrics and the friends singing along.

Nov 26

What a memorable day! Yes, yet another memorable day when I found myself out of the box. And it's Tine's birthday!

Nov 27-29

ILOCOS

Accompanied my cousin visit her relatives. Went around Vigan!!!

And there goes my 2010 birthday post. There goes my November. Let me have a good year.

I think this is the lamest birthday post so far. Ciao. Again.

p.s. Might or might not be in hiatus. At least this time it's somehow announced.

94. this is how I define non-peak

2010-08-16T23:47:00.008+08:00

Hi, I miss you. Forgive me for the unannounced hiatus. It's been over a month since I last wrote here. I've been lurking a lot in my Tumblr. I'm not fit enough to say that I was 'really busy' but let me just say that I have been doing a lot of things lately. And by 'a lot' I just don't mean work, more so, it's saddening that it rarely involves church stuffs now. Did I just say saddening? I did. That signals another blog entry. But for now, I would dedicate this entry to defining 'non-peak' -- a term that we could lay side by side with off-peak, not-so-busy and even the three-letter word FUN. Actually, there's a lot more than these synonymous words. And I'm up to lay them down here.

Unlike some of my teammates, I really didn't look forward to peak season.. Hmmm.. Scratch that. I did look forward to it for the sake of the incentive but that's about it. It's because it's the time when meeting the quota highly matters and it would need a lot of effort to achieve the quota including giving up slacking time (oh wait, did we really gave up our slacking time? I guess I'm kinda wrong here but whatever). And so when it was finally over, you can imagine how we rejoiced and unleashed the boiling laziness in all of us. DISCLAIMER: I'M NOT WRITING THIS TO ENCOURAGE SLACKING, PROCRASTINATION and LAZINESS. Just sayin'.

July 19 to August 6 was the peak season and how to end the peak season?? Gather every teammate and have fun somewhere away from our thin clients and the three 'walls' of our workstations. Forget estimates, the PDF documents and the five-letter-word dictating us to do more, more, MORE! We had fun that night until dawn when we were at Banchetto eating our hearts out with the view of every imaginable sumptuous food. Upon reaching home, I still had breakfast with my family which is like the first time again. I can't remember the last time I had breakfast with them. And then I found myself sound asleep. That was also a rare Saturday when I was just home all day.

at Metrowalk

Attending the church service that particular Sunday was what I needed. I wasn't gone for a long time but I did miss it. During the worship part, I just broke down to tears... Who wouldn't when every time I hear the lyrics of At The Cross, I just wanna be down on my knees. I broke down because deep inside of me I wasn't feeling well, because again, there's something wrong and the right way to ease the throbbing somewhere at the corners of the emotional system of my existence is to lay them all down to the only One who never fails to listen, and the only One who knows the best solution. I missed Him.

Yet again, there's the bittersweet feeling of seeing another youth that can already stand in front and relay God's message during our youth gathering. I was blessed by her. And among all what was talked about, there was one verse that caught the attention of my distorted thoughts and (reiterating) the throbbing corners in the emotional system of my existence.

Now you're in a painful situation. But I will see you again. Then you will be happy, and no one will take that happiness away from you.
-John 16:22

Just what I needed.

I remember posting an FB stat regarding the things that I needed to help me console me..

And who would've thought there'd be an immediate response as I got a SMS reply from one of my closest friends. After a tad of shopping, I met her and went to pamper our faces that already shows that we are no longer just alumni who just got out of the university; but the faces of the so-called career ladies (I prefer ladies over woman); faces that absorbs the desktop's radiation for about a third of their 24 hours. We even talked on how time flies so fast. Staying at our favorite fastfood nook somewhere in Alabang, I relayed to her a story of a lady whose heart had been torn into pieces -- heartbreak. An insultingly annoying heartbreaking story coupled with tears inside a fastfood house. Lol. The story can't wait for a coffeehouse. (Oh so cool, as I'm writing, BLG's Heartbreaker song suddenly played) But that night, that lady was as thankful as ever for just even one listener.

Before allowing myself to enter slumberland, I conditioned myself to put a brave face on for the Monday that would follow, for the week I was about to face. I tried to throw away every possible negative vibes. I tried hard to imbibe positive thoughts and allowed it to overcome me. And I guess it was effective enough because Monday was too pampering for me. And it even extended to Tuesday.

Waking up earlier than usual, I was expecting good things, which maybe, caused the upward curve of my lips upon waking up. Mom didn't go to work and even helped me choose what to wear. Hah! I was looking really corporate. I didn't know I have a nice powder blue long-sleeved blouse. Coupled it with my gray slacks, accessorized it with my black weaved belt and my trusty spectacles. Then I was good to go.

We didn't waste much time, me and the officemate went to Big Apple at the Venice Piazza and had our Balinese massage and foot scrub. Aaaaah, full body massage was relaxing for me. I just wanted to be with their bed forever. Didn't want to let go of the pillow and the relaxing ambiance and music. What a good way to start the first non-peak day. Thanks to the officemate, SO SO MUCH THANKS! Was I really deserving of that? Only she would know. :)

The pantry and the kiosk were my/our bestfriends for that Monday. Seems like we were allergic to our workstations that it would hurt us to stay there for long. And then another spontaneous movie night out was planned and so it was. Five of us watched The Sorcerer's Apprentice at SM Megamall. We weren't just allergic to our workstations but seemed like we were allergic to our homes as well. Until we found ourselves at Harbour Square. Food and talks go hand in hand. Teases and talks over our parfaits concluded our Monday.

me with my Oreo parfait

But duuuh. As soon as I blurted the word "sunrise" I know it wasn't close to ending. With the view of some buildings along Roxas Boulevard from afar, and the yachts floating over the waters nearby, who would've thought that a group of four people from a company with a weird name would gather and talk sense. Oh senseful, witty talks -- I just love them.

I must say I was thankful for the flying cockroach that prevented us to stay longer on that spot. We moved to one of the officemate's house (no, we aren't allergic to his house) and how to describe my stay there?? TUMMY-ACHING LAUGHTER caused by YEARBOOK PHOTOS. 'Nuff said.

After the seemingly endless laughter, another spontaneous decision was made -- to eat our hearts out at a buffet breakfast at Something' Fishy at Eastwood. And so it happened. And then we were so full that all we wanted is to get rid of the allergy and get home, lie on bed and sleep. Mind you, it was already Tuesday.

the culprits
the four people who was on SL cos of so-called grumbling stomachs

Tuesday?? There's this what we call 'sick leave' and I made use of it. Oh and there were some 'clarifications'.

Wednesday. I wasn't expecting anything but maybe an interrogation on why there were five people absent at work the day before. I was feeling really good. Remember the positive vibes I tried to cover myself Sunday night? I was still feeling it. Negativity set aside. Wondering and sad thoughts repressed or maybe, left hanging somewhere not easily seen and felt -- until the hands of the clock relayed past 9PM. And I thought I would be able to get home earlier than 12AM until someone wanted to eat. I was surprised. But still I went with someone. Fastfood - park - coffeehouse. I thought we were OK. I was mistaken. We can be more than just OK. During the four hours we were together, OK became "really OK". That night, I was really happy, was glad and felt light-hearted -- the feeling of joy that somehow, even in the slightest possible way, I was able to help someone feel alright; that I was able to lend a shoulder and a pair of listeners. I made someone feel alright. I made someone changed the way he feels.

I would want to go on narrating but Thursday ruined it.

So this is how I define non-peak:

facial
Balinese massage
foot scrub
free Wendy’s merienda
fireworks
movie date
Oreo parfait
tambay
funneh yearbook photos
Somethin’ Fishy buffet breakfast
one-day leave
making someone feel alright and feel light-hearted afterwards

By the way, somewhere in the middle of Monday slacking, I was able to witness a fireworks display. Don't you just love it?

At the cross I bow my knee, there's no greater love than this.

93. cos I badly want to start anew but there's really no need to it

2010-07-11T21:33:00.008+08:00

This feeling of wanting to just erase everything unpleasant and remain those that are luscious to my recalling. But NO.

There have been a lot of mistakes, shortcomings, transgressions and yes, regrets, that I'm afraid of the possible consequences I'm about to face a second from now to a second before I die. I've been so hard-headed, so stubborn, so stupid that these thoughts that keep on rushing in for the past days give me pains and aches to every vein where the blood passes through, not to mention the physical throbbing headache I've been feeling for four days now. A time would really come for these thoughts. I'm still human. I'm just glad I surpassed it without thinking of killing my delicate self.

Because I cast my burdens to Him, my Potter. As much as I want to share my encounter with Him, I want to set aside another blog entry (if time permits) regarding that matter. The scenario is just shallow but the impact is so deep.

God works so good that I always end up dumbfounded, surprised, astonished (in good ways). God is so amazing. He would use a jeepney driver, a sign at the back of the jeepney, a shirt worn by a homeless beggar, a hairdresser, a folder held by the person seated beside you inside the bus, even a book written by an 'almost-atheist'; He would make use of things you hardly notice and then because He's using them you would just start noticing them things and you'd end up "woah, yeah, right, oh gosh, RIGHT!! Why am I even thinking of this?? Why did I even bother do this" and so and so and blah blah. (Sorry if I'm confusing if ever I got some readers here...) That's my Potter. He's definitely my Strength on those times my knee calves are so prone to breakage.

Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
He will never let the righteous fall.
--Psalm 55:22

This afternoon, I was in our usual second-Sunday youth gathering. I'm in a seat having thoughts of "Wow, look at this youth relaying messages from my Potter. I'm so glad I can see fruits". And so he was speaking about a certain topic but that certain topic isn't what I'm getting, but all I know is still my Potter is talking to me through him. And then my favorite pastora concluded what he said and BAM! I'm like a chandelier broken because of a high note that hit me. It's like JACKPOT! YEAH, RIGHT! That's it. That's really it. Thank You, my Lord. THANK YOU.

And here I am so excited to meet each new sunrise with a face holding the brightest smile I could possibly give, with a heart overjoyed and filled with gratefulness. The gray past I can't erase and which is surely part and is the reason for the present -- I won't let it ruin me, more so my future. Let go. Break free. Love more. Embrace the goodness in life God has offered way before negativities existed.

My chains are gone. I've been set free.

92. today's a holiday so i found time to write this entry

2010-06-30T21:45:00.008+08:00

Time to wrap up June with some feel-good entry (I really don't know if this entry will make me feel good after writing it, haha).

First things first, I wanna mention the name President Noynoy Aquino, aka PNoy, here just cos he's the reason why I don't have work today cos he had been inaugurated and is now Philippine's president. Wow. I must be really getting old. I've been under 5 administrations.

I'm supposed to write this entry last Sunday but things got worst so I just decided to sleep the depression away and succumb on eating sweets and chocolates.

I have made myself clear many times already that I'm a frustrated musician, particularly a frustrated pianist. And I blame no other than myself as well for this frustration. Here's the story. I started attending piano lessons as early as 7 yrs old and I really can't remember when I started to decide to just skip the classes and eventually told my Mom that I don't want to study music anymore.

That's a photo of me during my first recital. I played 3 piano pieces including Minuet in G.

And then there was a time I started learning the chords so I can play the organ and then I got lazy again. I told you it's really a fault of mine.

Until I realized I really want to play. I have this desire to play and I, myself, think that it might be too late but I still told myself that it's never too late to learn. And a little dream came true last Sunday. Yes, I'm part of this band who did a cover of Chris Tomlin's Chosen Generation (my sister's playing the electric guitar). Despite technical problems, it feels so good to be able to play again. I just can't explain the feeling. I want to totally reunite with these ebonies and ivories. I mean totally. I've made this decision and I need a lot of action.

I've also been attending this class. I'm aware how the Bible is the most interesting book I know but I didn't know it could get even more interesting until I attended this class. I'm lovin every bit of the class despite the really-not-so-short memory verses we need to memorize every week. I'm excited to learn Greek!!

Last Sunday, the teaching during our youth service was about "Waiting for your meant-to-be//Choosing your mate. There was this checklist and I'm afraid only Choi Siwon meets it. Brb, flying to Korea for some proposal.

*********

1-2-3 Whateverisms:

Let's say hello to 2010 2nd half with positive outlook.
I'm excited for this weekend. LASER TAG!!!
I have an ongoing not-so-lame-neither-so-interesting story being unfolded on my LJ blog.
I badly need shopping.
I'm wanting chocolates right now.
I miss miss miss miss my online friends.
I want my work station to be where the internet kiosk is at the 9th floor!
I've fallen.

So I stand with arms high and heart abandoned...

91. incoherent

2010-06-09T15:23:00.002+08:00

I just feel like writing. I'm done with my project and I'm not in the mood just yet to go back to the normal pace of working. I've been thinking a lot lately. No. Let me prolong that. I have always been thinking a lot. But lately I have been thinking a lot more. It has been sort of my coping mechanism whenever I feel like my life is about to go downhill. But my life isn't about to go downhill, really. I am not depressed either. Just 'that feeling'. Or maybe, I am confused. Okay enough, actually there is this joy inside of me that at times I can not contain. Let me go back and maybe reiterate and end up repeating a sentence that was already stated. Lately I have been thinking a lot more. Welcome to my random thoughts and musings.

My brain cells are in a sort of a roller coaster ride. Always. They instantly jump from a thought to the other.

Like at one point an annoying brain cell would let me remember my age. I would just like to get rid of the thought. You know like popping a bubble. Because age comes with my frustrations. The dreamer in me is in a hiatus, an indefinite one. And every thought of a dream which is not within reach YET (i reiterate YET) I would suddenly like to curl into a ball at one corner of my room, preferably at the corner of my bed. And then I would foolishly remind myself to never give up but question the voice that's almost a whisper now.

"Maybe it's MY dream." Again, I would say to myself. Maybe it's not for me. Discouraging oneself is a lot easier than doing the opposite.

Then a giddy brain cell would just tell me to look what's in front of me.

The things in front of me...

I maybe not a fashion design student (JUST YET), but this Saturday and future Saturdays, I'll be a student and study homiletic and hermeneutics. Oh there, this is a path that never crossed my mind. I have this desire to dig deeper my Potter's words. I lack passion, just desire. Yes, I do daily devotions but it's not enough, I guess? And also it will help me with the cell I'm planning and praying to handle. So maybe studying these is a rather good forward step. Umhmmm.

Don't you also know that I'm a frustrated pianist who at first hated my Mom for enrolling me to piano lessons. Not only that, I've been wanting to be part of a band. Hahaha! I'm such a frustrated person. But last Sunday, some of us girls from the ministry started practicing for a special number. You have no idea how happy I am!! I'm playing chords now and not notes. But I miss seeing clefs and notes and rests and the staff. Most of the time, I regret disobeying my Mom and cutting those music classes. I should have known by now how to play other pieces and not stuck on playing minuet in G. Or the 'easy' parts of Fur Elise and Etude. This I can say, Moms know best.

And I guess this is one of the RARE times I'm saying something about what's about to be blurted out. Last Sunday, my mentor mentioned about having 'parenting' as a topic for our youth gatherings. And my initial reaction was 'Ay, WOW Tita! Pwede boyfriend muna?' And the youth laughed (like how I expected it). It's still my moment so I said 'May boyfriend na kaya ako..' Others say 'sino, Korean na naman', 'Siwon', 'weh..' 'joke' etc etc. Oh my sister's reaction would always be epic 'Ate, kahit 3yrs na kayo ng boyfriend, para sa 'kin joke pa rin yun. Pati boyfriend mo, iisipin joke yun.' That's how my sister and I are sweet to each other. But no matter how and what they responded, they all thought it's still part of my humor. And when my high school friends wondered who'll get married first, I responded 'I'. And they said 'APOCALYPSE na yun Merie'. I totally get why they would react like that. And honestly, it's really like part of my humor. I just don't see myself in a relationship. Not because of my super strict Mom when it comes to this matter, not because of anyone's pressure or influence -- IT'S JUST THAT I DON'T WANT TO. I choose not to even how hard I fell for that guy who courted me, I still didn't. Don't ask me why, because my answer might make you think I'm a lunatic. Also, you really don't need to know like you really don't need to know all these things I'm saying in this entry, in this blog. Or maybe I portray the role of an all-knowing girl saying 'I just know we'll not marry each other someday'. Eeeeep. This is why I don't like this topic. But maybe, I need a turn and start courting girls. Jk. Maybe I should consider already. Ate Seng's married now, anyway. Hah!

Enough.

My mind will keep wandering but for now I need to snap back to reality.

90. I wanna be in the movie.

2010-05-29T18:16:00.005+08:00

May I just remind myself that my first official blog entry here is about Passion Manila 2008. And now I'm about to write about Passion Manila again.

Passion World Tour Manila 2010

(cr: 268blog)

To reiterate what Louie Giglio said, WORDS FAIL. I honestly don't know what words to use to write about such an amazing event. SOLD OUT event. My mind is in a rattle (the good kind of rattle) whenever I go back to that wonderful night. I really don't know. I've been having a hangover and is still under the aftermath since 2008 and Passion Manila 2010 hit me again. It was again an amazing May 25, 2010 night at the BIG DOME ARANETA COLISEUM, where 10,000 young people gathered to bring glory to the only One who deserves it. 10,000 young people that shouts HIS FAME. 10,000 young people that lifted up their hands, hearts and souls to the only One who should have them. 10,000 young people including me and the members of YU2G.

(cr: 268blog)

We are a chosen generation. Rise up Holy nation. God we live for You. You have called us out of darkness into light so glorious.

I'm just glad that this time around I was able to be with the members of the youth ministry I am in. The moment I entered the coliseum and saw the stage, I teared up for I know I did my part in bringing them there and our lives will never ever be the same again. And the Holy Spirit never fails, they were touched, they were moved and they felt what I felt before. I pray that each of us will continue to grow and won't forever be the seeds that we are. Praying that we will have the PASSION to be IN THE MOVIE -- whether a BIG role or a small one. Praying that each one of us carry the burden of reaching out to the lost souls. Praying that it's not just about the emotional height that we felt during the event, that it's the aftermath that matters; that it's how we live to our resounding YES to HIS CALL.

And let us now grow weary while doing good for in due season we shall reap if we dont lose heart." -Galatians 6:9

(cr: 268blog)

What's yet another amazing thing is that despite the songs being unfamiliar to most of the people present on the event, it wasn't an obstruction to sing and dance along for Him (well, just like in 2008). Chris Tomlin and Kristian Stanfill (who arrived just moments before the event started, thus, the delay) lead the 10,000 young people to praise and worship. They just have amazing hearts of worship.

(cr: 268blog)

Of course I wouldn't make this blog entry incomplete. Louie Giglio's message is about John 12 -- of losing our 'seed selves' to bear fruit. Through him and his story-slash-encounter inside a movie house, I guess most people present there captured the essence of John 12. As for me, I GOT IT and I DIED. I died all over again. Praying to take it to a higher lever and a deeper relationship with Him. Praying that stumbles and mishaps that will happen along the path wouldn't pull me down easily. This would yet again be another battle for Him and His renown. I just wanna be in the movie.

And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us. And if our God is with us then what could stand against.

Now praying for HK.

oh and in case you missed it...

JESUS IS ALIVE.

+++++++++

1-2-3 Whateverisms:

We were so early that we were 2nd on queue and were able to get good seats at Upper A.
I didn't take photos that's why I don't have much 'own' photos in this entry. I just want to savor the event. Anyway, a lot would do the picture-taking ^^
Also, this time around I and my sister were able to see the opening and it was oh so good that I cried (yet again).
Finally I now own a Passion World Tour Shirt. 2010. :) And even bought Awakening book, which I talked about on one of my entries. Bought Passion Awakening album as well. :)

FINALLY FINALLY met my Shing!!! I was like talking randomly to the youth when I saw what I thought was a familiar face and it was indeed a familiar face and we ended up hugging each other tightly. It's like we haven't seen each other in so long when in fact it was only our first time seeing each other IN FLESH!

(cr: Jez)

Saw again Mareng Emz and Roma O. cos of this event. :) I'm so glad I've been a big help to them for this ^^
We had a fun overnight at Parungao residence after the event. Ching ching bang wa for the win.
Someone from the office knew I went there because I was wearing the Passion band and he went there as well too. :)
Every time I listen to Thrilla in Manila (1 & 2) podcasts, still give me the same feeling of those wonderful nights.

Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, Or judgments we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.
-Isaiah 26:8

p.s. Wow, this is a rather short entry. I'm just LOST for WORDS.

----------------
Now playing: Kristian Stanfill - Say, Say
via FoxyTunes

89. I voted cos I can

2010-05-10T21:29:00.007+08:00

I woke up early despite being deprived of sleep for I know that this day marks the day of transformation. I wanted to be an instrument of change and I did. I have a say from this day onwards. I voted cos I can.

I queued for almost 4 hrs, under the sun (I swear my back and right arm are now darker), without breakfast, and amidst the annoying, complaining and screaming people. I really can't blame them but how I wish people should just start knowing then following procedures first before complaining. It's sad that people gave up their right and once-every-six-years chance of deciding for this country's future just because of having no patience. It's not 'SAYANG' at all to queue for at least an hour if you know it's your future and the generations' next to you that is at stake. Do you get to queue and vote everyday? On the other side, COMELEC locally should've came up of a more well-organized and systematic way of queuing and numbering than calling 1 to 26 then jump to 101. Since when did 101 came after 26? We, people should learn more patience and being considerate.

And now that results are being announced partially, Aquino is on the lead with Binay leading the VP. And yeah, I am assuming that it's because of his AMAZING STORIES that Revilla is leading in the senate position. Let's just hope that there'd be no more sex scandals as he is "performing too well" to handle something like that again. Those that I voted aren't on the lead. Le sigh. But I still believe in them.

And wait, there's more. ERAP? Like, people really wanted to reelect him??

Let this election be a good first step for the next coming years. I'm still hoping for the coming 60% votes to be as wise as it can be or else you'll see that finger up there changed into a taller one.

God bless the Philippines. God heal our land.

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
-2 Chronicles 7:14

88. it's about time....again...

2010-04-29T01:09:00.007+08:00

C'mmon. Admit it. We just can't prevent the big-headedness-feeling-inside when we are commended, most especially by someone superior to you. In my case, today, I had a one-on-one video meeting with my manager ('cos he's stationed in Paris) early evening. It's about our productivity and performance for our first encounter with the 'earning season'. The meeting turned out short and WELL. As a whole, our team has an EXCELLENT performance! Kudos! Individually, I got commended (I'm feeling big-headed now) that I performed well quantitatively and quality-wise. In terms of quality, I even belong to the top 10. This is all GLORY TO HIM. I know His Spirit is with me as I ask for the guidance before I start hitting Ctrl + N on the keyboard of my TC. I pray that I push through with this record.

On other note, I've been dipping in and out of the ungodly world. And it's again about time to get off my kingdom of comfort. I'm such a hard-headed person. I pray that this would be the last time I'm saying these things for I need to refocus. Once again. It would be hard. Temptations keep on coming but, I need to endure if I want to get the most important recognition the world has to offer.

Besides, I'm getting sick of that sea I've been diving in and out. So many fake-fairy bitches, self-obsessed morons, self-proclaimed fartsies, and trying-to-be-humble-but-not-really whores. Sorry for the phrasings but I find them the best way to describe them. This might be the last. Just allow me. *No cyber-bullying intended 'ajejeje'*

Save me from the kingdom of comfort where I am king, from my unhealthy lust of material things...
-Delirious?

out of the usual

2010-04-25T02:47:00.000+08:00

Last Thursday (April 22, 2010), I decided to accept Julo's invitation for me to go with him @ Cafe Saguijo where Midsummer Band was gonna release their EP album. I decided so just to see life outside my usual four walls. I end my shift at 9PM and still I did go just for the favor asked by one 'good' friend.

I'm hearing their songs being played on the background while waiting for the program to start and then I anticipated their perf. Their kind-of-music isn't alien to my eardrums, and I must say it's something that I would include to the vast and occasional combo of music pool I dive in. There were other perfs from other invited bands as well. Not bad at all. It's somehow nostalgic to listen to those kinds of music again. I deleted most of the files already to make room for the additions. The kind of emotions that the music I've heard last Thursday brought me is repelling the emotions of the music I'm so much into at the moment is bringing me. Whether if my taste of music became better or not, I don't know but one thing's definite -- the kind of music I listen to nowadays gives me JOY and HOPE. Oh before I forget, I love the place. It's like double-purpose. I like the photos posted, the posters, ok I just love the interiors.

cr: akosisoulscrpio

Midsummer -- I've been seeing it on my Tumblr dashboard regularly. Thanks to the blogs that I follow there. Even though I didn't get the chance to hear them live, I still give them my kudos and salutes for coming up with what I can classify as GOOD MUSIC. Upon hearing their songs, 'twas like hearing a foreign band that's new to my ears. They don't sound local or OPMish. It was only because I 'kinda know' them that I know they are still under the OPM umbrella.

On the other side, it was also fun seeing Tumblr users meet each other in flesh. I'm a Tumblr user for almost 2 years now and yet I never experienced a real 'Tumblr meet-up'. I chose to be quiet on my own comfortable Tumblr seat and from time-to-time interact with the same persons I follow on the Blogger world. Yet, because I'm often on Julo's shots posted on his Tumblr, I was recognized by Kath. It was nice meeting her in person as well as some of her posts happen to land on my dash. Teeheehee, I really find her cute. ^^

cr: kaththecrapout

That night, for a few, I felt alone and yet I realized a lot of things that made me sad and proud of myself at the same time. No regrets of going there. After all, its not everyday that I jump out of the usual.

the SUPER longweekend, let me blog about it...

2010-04-13T00:48:00.040+08:00

I have no idea if I'm fit enough to finish this. But it would definitely be a long one. Allow me my dear blog, it's been a while since the last time I was in a real pensive mood. A mix of posts from the different angles of my life, this would be it. A reader (if ever there'd be) would know a LOT about me on this post. There would be 'firsts' and sorta revelations.

the SUPER long WEEKEND! Let me blog about it.

DISCLAIMER: TOO LONG.

It all started Thursday night. Well, because, that was off-work already. How do we define IMPROMPTU? Scenario: We just left the building, rode our shuttle and I blurted out "I don't wanna go home yet. I might stay at Starbucks." And another officemate felt like not going home as well, and another officemate just celebrated his birthday and so we decided right then and there to have fun with the night. Impromptu that is. We were already working together for a month and yet we never had a night out. Last Thursday was our first and we weren't even complete. There were only five us. Regardless of the no., I must say we had the night of our lives. Ok, maybe just, we had so much fun. We stayed on this Italian restaurant. I love their pizza just a tad costly though. And their Cosmopolitan drink is weng weng with a sossy name. Lol. I got hit. Harhar at me. I needed a Starbucks drink and finally said hello to Caramel Macchiato. We met again. After that, we were so spontaneous that when we're just about to step inside a bus we decided just to stay at Treats, Petron. There we waited for the almost-sunrise.

More than the places we've been to and the food we shared plus the drink we tossed high (kailangan sa mata tumingin pag nagtotoss ayos.), are the talks we had over them. Who would've thought that those people speak a lot of sense. Ok, kidding. But true enough, our talks were full of sense but of course alongside funny hirits and singits. We talked about the Bible, Christianity, religions, LOVE religion, heaven, realities, absolute goodness and bagansya. I've heard of that last word just that night. Time to part ways at around 4AM. I met Julie so that we can travel home together.

The infamous TGIF tag is always applicable to me.

Wait, I actually ended the first part of this blog entry on the early part of Friday. Can I just tell you that I arrived home and the sun's peeking already. I slept for a few then woke up to open the laptop and searched about their arrival. I actually planned on stalking them as well but as what my sister told me "don't you give it a try, leave some for your self, some pride." Lol at my sister. FYI, she got me into this what I can classify as unhealthy obsession. She is maybe regretting it already. I need to skip this part already or I'll end up writing a lame short story.

Friday is SPORTSDAY for me. I used to be really into sports. I was a volleyball/badminton/chess/basketball player back when I was still studying. I love volleyball the most. I can't remember the last time I played a real volleyball game until last Friday. I listed myself to be part of a team that will play volleyball. I practiced alone, not really, I practiced with a wall. The ball's not good and player-friendly. My hands-arms got hurt (up until now I'm writing this) so I decided to buy a ball that will let us play a pain-free game. YAY! New volleyball ball! To cut the long story short, I enjoyed playing the game though to be honest it was an easy game. And my team won. :)

SUPER SATURDAY!!!

My very much anticipated Saturday didn’t start out pretty well. I had a volleyball game the day before and it’s been long since the last time I played. My body wasn’t used to it already. Upon waking up, before anything else (yes even before the idea of being at the Super Show 2), all I felt was an extreme pain on my arms, my swelling arms and as I tried to move my body, it wasn’t just the arms but the whole body. I had a body ache. I rose up and tried to stretch to no avail. Believe me when I said that I felt like not going to the venue early anymore. I just wanted to rest. My parents called me to a breakfast in our little garden. Ok, I think that’s the best way to jumpstart that super Saturday. I sat down on a bench, looked at the yummy-looking foods laid before me, looked at my Mom and suddenly blurted out “Today’s gonna be a good good good GOOD DAY!!!” My Mom knows why. My Dad knows why and I just kept on smiling and acting like I was breathing fresh beach air. Then the fangirl in me slowly unleashed that moment. Wishful thinking, crazy thoughts, wild imaginations of what might happen upon seeing them just kept on rushing and crossing my mad and insane brain cells at that time. Right from that moment, anticipation heightened each moment. Super Junior. Super Show 2. Manil.a Araneta. 12 members. Choi Siwon. Marry U. Who Am I. Lightsticks. Fan goods. Merchs . I just can’t think properly. I brushed my teeth, I thought of them. I took a bath, I thought of them. I fixed myself, I thought of them. I thought of them and yes, I thought of them.

The momentum waiting week has been really long and dragging but my travel from home to the venue seemed longer and more dragging. Not to mention the body ache I was having and the leg ache I felt each and every time I tried to climb some steps. I tried to just not think of it. I just need to get to the venue. Shibrows (the name of my Zune music player) didn’t help me in calming myself. I set it to playing just the Super Show 2 album. Of course I’m gearing myself and was trying to memorize the fanchants and the lyrics. I kept on smiling along the way. People who might have seen me would have wondered why the heck I was smiling to myself alone. I couldn’t care less. I was gonna see Super Junior in flesh!!! What else is there to mind about (well except the aches..) ?? Finally at 12:30 PM I was around the vicinity and on my way to the mall where me and my friend was gonna meet, all I saw were the SS2 Manila ads all over. I know I was excited. I know I can’t wait any longer but I also thought that that would be the last moment I am gonna anticipate and be excited so I made the most and cherished every moment. I met Tine, to whom I owe A LOT for the possibility to watch the concert. We cheerfully ate our lunch, and my body-slash-leg-slash-arm-aches complaints pop out every time randomly with our imaginations and expectations of the show. After doing some important things we then decided to wait on the queue. Oh btw, we’re seated (standed??) SVIP right. It’s all part of the experience, lining up hours before the show itself, interacting with other fangirls, buying fan goods, chatting about the show because of the anticipation, discovering new things from other fangirls, taking notes of the projects, memorizing fanchants and the songs themselves and the list can go on forever. I discovered fangirls who flew from other countries like Taiwan, Singapore, Korea just to see the Super Show. Whilst waiting as well, we were able to meet Alice, admin of Sj-World.net, and even took a snap with her. Gaaaah, I wanted to chat with her all about how it feels like being able to dance with Leader-ssi Leeteuk and how fun and tedious can it get administering a very big forum and seeing the SJ boys often etc etc. But I was too shy. She luckyyyyyyyyy. And she’s really nice!! It was also nice meeting online friends like Athena and Frances. I should hang out with them more often! And oh, I had a funny encounter with Chiui as well right after the show. Lol 'twas epic!

A little fast forward to when the gates started to open and anyone can already hear the excited fangirl shrieks. Lines were snaking from the outside to the gates to the entrance. In just a few, the so-called SUPER SHOW was about to start. A blue band (juts like what hospitals put on patients when they’re confined lol) was strapped on each person who’s on SVIP. And the moment Tine’s and mine were strapped we ran as fast as we can and we didn’t go straight to the dome but we went to the backstage surpassing the bouncers and security and we saw SUPER JUNIOR before other fangirls saw them!!!!

Ok I kid. It was all the opposite. We calmy walked ourselves to the insides of the big dome. Then OMG THIS IS IT IT’S THE SUPER SHOW 2 ALREADY I’M ABOUT TO DIE OMG I SEE A VERY BIG LED SCREEN ON STAGE AND OMG THE STAGE IS REALLY BIG LIKE REALLY SUPER BIG FOR THE SUPER BOYS WHO ARE GONNA PERFORM FOR THE SUPER SHOW AND I WAS LIKE SUPER NEAR THE STAGE AND LIKE REALLY NEAR I COULD GRAB THEM DOWN AND THE STAGE IS REALLY WELL DESIGNED AND THE LIGHTING IS JUST AWESOME AND THE FANGIRLS WITH BLUE GLOW STICKS AND THE THOUGHT OF SEEING THEM IN JUST A MATTER OF AN HOUR. OMG. DEATH OF ME. That moment, it was the fangirl in me that’s ever present in me. Noone else. No bipolar activities. No multiple personalities just the fangirl in me. Unleashed the fangirl in me. I brought out my Siwon lightstick and the other sapphire blue lighstick I bought. I think noone’s insane enough during those moments. Even I. We’re all just excited of everything’s about to come. Anticipating. Excited. Crazy. Insane. Adrenaline rush. No one can dare explain how it felt in exact words cos words ain’t enough. The feeling is just overflowing.

Dun dun dun dunnnnnn…

Lights off and that was the first of the loudest shouts from the audience that occurred. It was just the first. LCD screen started to play moving images. The crowd got wilder. And even wilder as the BASS and the oh-so-good sound system started teasing our ear drums.

Dun dun dun DUNNNN. THIS IS SUPER SHOW 2.

I wish I could enumerate and write every single detail of this SUPER SHOW but I just can’t or if ever I will, it will be long enough for a lame novelish fan account.

Each and every time a member is shown on screen the crowd just grew louder and louder and it seems like there’d be nothing louder than it but it just kept getting louder and crazier. And then OMG OMG OMG one by one the came out from the different spots on stage. I first spotted Eunhyuk and I swear I can picture myself reacting like I saw a ghost. Right then and there I knew they were REALLY REAL LIKE REAL but I was like are they really human? And then I turned around and then ...

(this is my very first ~~fail~~ shot of Siwon)

IT WAS THE LIVING WORK OF ART THAT I SAW. INDEED A REALLY LIVING WORK OF ART THAT IS. THAT IS CHOI SIWON. SORRY, BUT I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE AND I’M GONNA USE THE ADJECTIVE GODLY. GODLY FACE. GODLY BODY. THE MUSCLES ARE WORTH MY SEEMINGLY ENDLESS DROOL. I NEEDED A CUP TO CATCH WHATEVER’S COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH. But of course I kid. That was my first Siwon-in-flesh encounter. That moment, my love for Choi Siwon just got stronger. He’s ‘heavenly’?? He’s so HANDSOME GORGEOUS and SEXY I can die right then and there. I know it’s Super Junior’s Super Show but from that point onwards all I saw and wanna see was SIWON. The handsome Siwon. The sexy Siwon. Siwon Siwon Siwon Siwon. Choi Siwon. Being at the SVIP standing allowed me to follow wherever he went except on the other side of course. Then the intro then A Man In Love started playing then they started grooving, we started grooving, coupled with deafening shouts, they started performing, they’re teasing the audience then they started singing, dancing and I wish I could say the rest is history but I’m gonna say a couple of things more. This is Siwon biased cos he’s my ultimate bias because the main reason why I’m loving Super Junior is him because I love him.

Ok. We can! Carry on...

Uhmmm writing this just brings the happy memories of Super Show 2. Let me state the setlist of which I'm not totally sure.

A Man in Love. U (cos I can’t stop thinking of you ~*boys*~). It’s You Rearranged. She Wants It. Then the next part was Super Junior’s introduction then one by one. Everyone will agree with me that the most adorkable during the introduction part was Shindong who can be commended for memorizing how to count 1 to 10 using Filipino language specifically Tagalog and blurting out the expression Ano ba yan?! in the most perfect accent possible from a Korean. He furthered by saying Pasensya na po (which means Sorry). Other members said Ano ba yan as well. Aegyo~! The member who had the most Filipino fans, and I mean Donghae, ran around the stage in full speed and the audience grew wild. The energetic Donghae that he is. Kyuhyun made a moonwalk and said MABUHAY! (Welcome!). Yesung did a breakdance and the crowd cheered for him. That was good! Sungmin did some martial arts for his intro. Of course Cinderella Heechul is as lovely handsome as ever. Milky skin is the perfect description! Then Siwon was introduced as the LIVING WORK OF ART. Indeed indeed. He said “When I say WE LOVE YOU, you say Jesus!” and the crowd including me shouted ~~SHISUS~~ JESUS!! Seriously, this is why I LOVE him to death. And I mean it. He never fails to bring glory to His creator in every single thing he does even in a concert like this! He’s a real God-fearing man. My love for him just grew even stronger!! After each member’s introduction they sang Angela next. I hoped that the entirety of the audience participated in the Angela project. It would really be cool to see that. Let me just bring out a *sigh*. Then Life couldn’t get better~ Miracle! They started interacting with the fans in here. Disco Drive. Dancing Out. Dancing Out happens to be one of their songs I want to hear from them and I didn’t expect that they are gonna perform this. ALL SJ BOYS including henry and Zhou Mi had their fair share of concert momentum. Sungmin sang Baby Baby while playing keyboards. Donghae made the fishy-lovers squeal to death with his Beautiful perf. Yesung sang Resignation. Wookie fans got crazy when he performed Insomnia complete with some flirty dancing with a lady dancer. Kyu serenaded us all with his soothing voice while singing Jam Hsiao. The best vocals KRY together with aegyo prince Sungmin performed What If on the rotating platform. Wookie kept on coughing but still he managed to get through. I love how he sweetly smiled trying to not mind his coughing. Heartquake and Eunhyuk birthday project was on the move. One of my Tumblr usernames, Dead At Heart was also performed by KRY with Eunhyuk. Leader-ssi Teukie teased us all with a somehow flirty performance of Honey. Leader sure knows how to give indirect fanservice to us fangirls. I can say that he’s really flirty on the Honey perf with his smiling eyes and heart-meltnig dimples showing. And OMG is he even sure that he was born 1983??? He doesn't look like it!! I also didn’t expect that Heechul’s got a perf of Sonata of Temptation which was introduced by Henry’s powerful violin perf, Wookie played the keyboard and Hyukjae rapped. During Heechul’s solo, I saw the rocker in him which was what he really wanted. I wish I could hear him sing an English rock song. And gaaaah I love his uhm polo? Blouse? Underneath his white suit. Only him who can be hot and lovely at the same time. Two of the hottest perfs followed: Don’t Don and Twins (Knock Out) next to each other. I don’t know about the others but Don’t Don is just an awesome perf! They utilized the whole stage on that perf with the pyro effects. Oh yes. I love it! Then of course I got to see them do the infamous PELVIC THRUSTS in front of me! OMG! I died! PELVIC THRUSTS in flesh!! Altogether with their orgasmic faces! Ok, bear with me. I have inappropriate phrasing tendencies. After the hotness perfs came the cuteness Puff the Magic Dragon. Heechul’s so funny! And the big LCD screen played a major part with the effects! So cute!! Wookie did Kara’s butt dance. So cute! Everyone was just so cute! But Heechul pwned that song and yeah Kyu’s singing. Dance Heroes part like wah they’re the best dancers!! I completely forgot that I would be able to see them do it. I was just able to watch it on Star Dance Battle! So good!! Then Henry and Mimi having solo perfs surprised us all. Henry hotly performed Sick of Love. Our Mochi really had grown up into a muscled man as well! Who could play the violin awesomely, dance hotly, sing well, and be cute altogether?! That’s our Mochi! Then Zhou Mi had a solo and ZhouMi Birthday project was on the move. I’m proud of Filipino ELFs giving full support to these two who deserve all the love as well!

(shot by my awesome friend, Tine)

Yes a solo paragraph for Siwon’s performance of one of my favourite contemporary Christian songs, WHO AM I (original by Casting Crowns). The first time I was able to watch Siwon’s perf of Who Am I on YouTube during the first leg of Super Show 2 at Korea, I wanted to just hug Siwon and absorb the godliness in him. I cried and I knew that time that I was ‘idolizing’, following and fangirling over the right person. That time I was convinced that I love Super Junior, I am very much in love with Choi Siwon, irrevocably in love with him. I was so thrilled and glad seeing and hearing and feeling him perform in flesh this particular song. My Php8000 wasn’t wasted at all and because of this perf, while singing to it, I know I was also able to give glory to Him. Wonderful Siwon. I died inside hearing his harmonic baritone voice for 3 minutes. The Choi Siwon birthday project was on the move with banners saying Happy Birthday Choi Siwon raised and since it’s an English song known to Filipinos, the crowd sang along. I hope we were able to cheer up feeling sick Siwon. I hope for Siwon, Filipino fans made considerably something special. During his perf, Wookie played the keyboards, Kyu, Hae and Teukie did some backgrounds. Awww.. Such a really nice perf!

Super Junior M perfs followed. They sang Blue Tomorrow and the crowd again got wild during Super Girl perf. I miss Hangeng though :(. Henry wearing those shades! Gotta love it! Maybe because he wasn’t really feeling good at all, Siwon exited right away. Aaaww, bb needs rest. Shining Star was next and it’s like their Thank You song! I got really touched with the VCR before it that made me a proud ELF. There were members who were in tears and almost in tears. Then at the middle, the Saranghaeyo part played on the LCD is also touching. I wish I could hug each one of them on that part. *sigh sigh sigh* Our Love was also sang by them. I can't recall at what point but they did cos I will never forget the fanchant ^^ Then Sorry Sorry Answer on the LCD which was full of Kangin. I MISS KANGIN!!! No Hangeng though and Kibum. Whyyyy?!?!!

Then of course 10 sexy backs of handsome guys wearing white arose from underneath the stage! It’s their infamous SORRY SORRY (remix) perf already!!! Of course it’s different and feels incomplete that it was just 10 who performed. But still HOT! HOT HOT is HOT HOT! Ta ta ta ta rat tatara tat.. Dance Dance dance~ Siwon and Donghae danced without shirts underneath their suits. Hotmess!! Hotness. Then towards the end Siwon teased the already jawdropped fangirls and fanboys when he unbuttoned his suit. Dang seeing SHIABS in flesh is a sure win, is a sure fangirl dream come true. That moment, that moment I saw ze abs of Siwon I started to feel my pulse if it still exists and then I realized I was already in ~*heaven*~. Ok sorry. I kid. OMG SHIABS! I ALREADY SAW SHIABS! All I’m left to dream about is having the chance to touch it! Lol.

It was already crazy when Chu, Rokkugo, Sunny, Pajama Party, Carnival, and Wonder Boy (im so happy they performed this song too!!) were being performed. There were a lot of fanservice and crazy moments. They did sit ups, picked up gifts from fans, took shots with fans, teased the fans, OTPs, WATERGUN fight which was full of epic I didn’t mind going home all wet! It was SJ boys who got me wet anyway. Lol you of dirty minds. I got wet cos they shot me with their waterguns! It was also during this part that I had the moment of my life! I told you I was following Siwon around and at one point I wasn’t able to restrain myself and I shouted "Siwon" the loudest!!! At first he didn’t look but OMG HE HAPPENED TO BE LOOKING AT MY CHOI SIWON SATURNIAN LIGHT STICK AND THEN HE LOOKED AT WHO WAS HOLDING IT AND THE ONE WHO’S HOLDING IT WAS ME AND THEN OMG HE LIKE WAVED AND SMILED AT ME. I DIED. I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I DIED AND BROUGHT TO LIFE AND DIED ALL OVER AGAIN. OMG SIWON WAVED AND SMILED AT ME!!! I need to touch his abs. Lol. Kidding. But yeah the feeling was surreal. Can not comprehend anything that moment. OMG LIEK CHOI SIWON WAVED AND SMILED AT ME!!!

Marry U. The song I’ve been long waiting for and I know I would cry. Sorry, shallow as I may seem but I teared up a tad. The wonderful night was about to end and they’re singing Marry U. At that time it became the most bitter-sweet song I’ve ever heard. It will soon be over and Siwon wasn’t there, at that particular song. I just need to understand that he’s not feeling well. But still, nothing’s changed on how I’m still in love with this song. From the beginning rap to I do I just felt like crying.

Then it was time for their goodbyes. Sigh. All things meet their end and that was it.

Lemme just give some random bullet points before I finally end this seemingly endless Super post. It still continues to pile up every time memories rush in (http://spreadinsomesujulove.tumblr.com):

Guyliner Yesung surprised us all not just with his stunning looks (OMG) but just like what he usually does, for his intro he did a breakdance then he sang his OST during the end then at one point , Leeteuk and Donghae poured water on him then he wore big glasses handed by fans then he was just so adorable during the whole show. Oh and his voice OMG!

I know the fangirls loved Shindong even more for his effort in memorizing the Filipino way of counting 1 to 10 — isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat, lima, anim, pito, walo, si-yam, sampu — with his counting fingers raised up high and again, the accent. He also said Pasensya na po. Isn’t it adorable?? ANO BA YAN?! Everyone who went to SS2 Manila already has a totally different view and meaning on this used-to-be-simple expression. Hearing it first from Shindong saying this in a perfect accent just made the crowd wild. Then other members kept on saying this already during the intro.

I don’t know about the others but A MAN IN LOVE or the very first song that they performed played a very significant part that night. When I first saw one member I swear my reaction was like as if I saw a ghost O__O. Then I turned around and it was the god-like-body-and-face Siwon standing. Then they kept on coming. Clap back. Kick back.

Zhoumi and Henry had their solo performances. It’s so good~! These two are adorable. Our mochi is so HOT and really talented! Is it just me or Zhou Mi tried to suppress his smile during his solo perf? The fans were shouting wo ai ni while Mimi’s performing.

Kyu bowing for about 2-3 minutes during their goodbyes. The other members were doing/saying some other things but he was just there bowed down. He was the last one to leave the stage. Kyu’s just so adorable last night!

SJ boys laughing like LAUGHING (most esp Sungmin and Leeteuk) getting and seeing g-strings, boxers, briefs, thongs, condoms, undies thrown at the stage. The boxers (CK) were being passed around. Some wore it on their heads. Just EPIC!

Indeed it was a SUPER SHOW. A show that aided a lot in realizing a fangirl dream. A show that was like ALL IN ONE. I saw dancers. I saw actors. I saw real people. I saw and heard singers. I watched performers. I saw comedians. Dance. Teases. Song numbers. Skit. Sing and dance. Hot perf. Cute perf. Funny perf. And these hot and handsome guys all together in one so-called SUPER SHOW. It was worth the wait. It was worth the bills. It was worth the body ache. Never in my entire being fangirl that it occurred to me that they’re gonna hold a Super Show this early. I can never be thankful enough to the producers of this show. The moment I saw them on stage was already the start of a fulfillment of a fangirl’s dream. One of the greatest dream of an ELF would have and it came to reality for me. It was yet another YouTube-to-flesh experience and it was oh so good. It was almost bliss.

It was hard dealing with the aftermath and up until now I’m that I'm pushing through writing this entry. It’s been a week but I still smile and still die inside each time my braincells is lightened up by the SS2 memories. There were bashers, and I wouldn’t waste too much time dealing with them. More than just the thousands spent, efforts given and an almost sore voicebox is the surreal feeling of seeing our boys. Those boys who have a heart for what they are doing and are sincere in being thankful to their fans. We know it. We can feel it. More than just their performances, whom one person labeled "not broadway worthy" are the things they’ve done during the entire show. The fanservice of waving at their fans, picking up the gifts being thrown, laughing at thrown condoms and bikinis and pervy stuffs, wearing big glasses handed by fans, eating dried mangoes from fans onstage, taking pictures with the fans, smiling for them and the list may go endless -- might be the simplest things that can mean a lot. Maybe, for others, they weren't good enough but they certainly wouldn’t see it unless they slip into our, fangirls’, shoes.

(shot by Frances who was seated SVIP center)

As for Choi Siwon, my love for him as a fangirl and as a believer drilled down deeper. Having got a simple wave and smile from him, I’m so much thankful already. Seeing the things he does, for his band, for his fans and for his Creator, I couldn’t wish for another ‘idol’ like him.

(again shot br Frances. Please bear with the mess, there are condoms among them.)

And as an ELF, I will try my best to be forever loyal. As long as they exist and as long as the sapphire blue color exists, as long as Siwon and other SJ members are in the hearts of the people, as long as "the world isn't filled with sapphire blue balloons yet", I will 13elieve and prom15e to support SUPER JUNIOR, despite closed-minded bashers and haters. SUPER JUNIOR and ELF = 1. Indeed.

p.s. I can't be discreet any longer cos this is about Super Show already :P

p.p.s. If you're expecting my fail photos of the Super Show 2 Manila, for contacts only at my Multiply and Facebook. Feel free to add me... the links are at the navy bar above just below the header.

p.p.p.s. shameless plug
http;//msheng.tumblr.com
http://spreadinsomesujulove.tumblr.com

Saranghaeyo yeongwonhi

more than just eggs and bunnies

2010-04-04T23:31:00.005+08:00

Today is Easter Sunday, a day when Easter eggs and bunnies come to play, when kids and young adults alike enjoy egg hunting, but have they thought of today's true essence?

What did the angel said to those who came looking for His body:
The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."
(Matthew 28:1-10 )

Easter is like the culmination of a week celebration. A day when He like "showed-off", He's God after all. He has risen. You guys, from the dead. Yes it is amazing that He rose from the dead. That is His awesomeness, His magnificence, Him being God. But the culmination wouldn't be that good if not because of the past days and activities that happened before it. His resurrection is just a bonus. What He did on the cross is what's far more important and what makes me shrink whenever I remember. He died for you and me, that we may live. That we may have eternal life. Salvation. And just like any other programs, there may be aftermath, and that lies to anyone who believes, including me or you -- to spread the word...

---

Oh look, who's posting here again. I told you, I wouldn't just ignore and let you go. I'm in a pensive mood. I also remembered that I started this blog because of what He has done to me one awesome day. It's been a while since I wrote something like this in here and so I decided what my thoughts about Easter. Jot jot jot...

Cause I know that You're alive.
You came to fix my broken life and I'll sing to glorify Your Holy Name, Jesus Christ.

p.s. The photo is a shot of one of the mountains near Taal volcano.

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Now playing: Lakewood Church Worship - Friend of God
via FoxyTunes

i might write a long entry or not

2010-04-02T19:02:00.006+08:00

I've been meaning to write a blog post here since the 2nd day of March, but look at today's date, April 2.

A month and a day has passed and each day that had passed brought along with it both good and bad things. Each day is now already a part of memory. God has been really good all throughout those days and I thanked and is continually thanking Him.

I haven't told you yet but I've been employed for a month already. I believe that this is already a God-given job. How long will I stay, only God knows. What's far more important is I am enjoying where I am now. I miss my previous job as well. I miss my students, the seemingly carefree teachers and I miss the almost stress-free work I've had. Not that I'm having a stressful work now but it's totally different now. It's the first job that I can totally relate with regards to the degree I'm holding. My Potter has instilled in me to love what I currently have. For the past months, I have been that frustrated person. I keep on reaching for MY dream, not minding what HE has in store for me. For now, I shall wait and walk on this path He's leading me. Who knows what good thing He had prepared for me along the way.

March has been a fun month for me:

A fangirl that I am, I was able to watch one of my favorite contemporary bands' showcase at PICC last March 6. This is side by side with not being able to go with the summer outing with my friends. Life needs sacrifices. It's inevitable.

The first summer getaway happened with my officemates at Tagaytay last March 27 -- where we ate lunch and rode a boat and trekked our way up and inside Taal volcano. Indeed one memorable experience.
My work per se is keeping me preoccupied and happy.
April comes next and you don't know how thrilled I am right now. Oh hai, Tine!

On other note:

Unlike the past years that I am blogging, it feels alone now. I blame Tumblr, Twitter and FB. Just kidding. But really, it feels alone now in the blogger world. I can't blame my own self and others as well , who found refuge to Tumblr. I visit my Tumblr nook a lot and I post very often there. It's indeed for easy blogging. It gets annoying at times but it's fun. Don't you worry my dear blogspot, I won't just leave you. As long as you exist, I'll keep on posting no matter how frequent or seldom it can be. I just miss the old times. Don't you?

p.s. I don't know what's wrong but I can't post a photo.

He died so we may live.

first day. fresh start.

2010-03-01T22:05:00.004+08:00

Today was really really a fresh and a good start. I love it. It's like the first day of school all over again. Yes, I felt (and still feel) anxious, scared, excited, I don't even know. All I'm certain of is that God gave this to me and I will endure.

Sleepy...

Here I am take me as an offering. Here I am giving, every heartbeat, for your glory.

For I know the plans I have for you ...

2010-02-27T10:20:00.006+08:00

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
--Jeremiah 29:11

This is one of my favorite verses and the one I've been holding to and the very verse of the midweek service I've attended to last Wednesday and right then and there, I knew my Potter is reassuring me of His plans-beyond-my-human-imagination for me.

Indeed. He is just so marvelous and awesome.

Thursday, while I was enjoying the last day of being enslaved by Korean students (don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it and I love my students.), while I was enjoying the oh-I-can-surf-the-net-all-I-can-again moment, I got a text message:

We're glad to inform you that you are shortlisted for the position you applied for. Please wait for further instructions on the next step.

Thank you God, are the words I uttered to myself. I prayed and thanked and praised Him.

On that same day...

Rrrrrrrrring went my phone. I unplugged the earphones from my ears and answered:

Yoboseyo??

Ok, just kidding.

Hello?
Hello. Is this Marie (yes, most people read my Merie as Marie) Sheryl Clarete?
Yes, this is Merie.
Hi, how are you?
I'm good.
Ok then, good. I just would like to inform you that you are one of the shortlisted candidates for ~insert position and company here~
*moment of silence*
And I would like to invite you tomorrow 1:30PM.
The line is chappy, I'm sorry?
Please come here at 1:30PM tomorrow.
Oh, ok!
Ok, bye.
Bye.

I sort of cut the long conversation short. I composed myself and tried not to shout, but I shrieked. God is really this GOOD! ALL THE TIME! Those were two different companies, by the way.

On Monday, marks a new chapter in my life. A day that would begin another path. Rocky or smooth, curvy or straight, uphill and downhill, I would be glad to walk on it for I know, my God never fails and He's always with me. I'll put a brave face on. Let me face the challenges and see for myself a wide array of discoveries. For now, this is what He gave me. Maybe my plans aren't for me for now. Maybe this path will lead me there as well. I'm not yet giving up.

Julo and I had again our version of photoshoot that same day (Thursday) and this is my favorite shot:

other photos are somewhere in Julo's Tumblr and Multiply

Awesome Weekend no. 8

2010-02-23T15:26:00.007+08:00

I'm not feeling well at this moment I'm writing but I just feel the need to blog about an awesome weekend.

Friday, February 19, 2010

What I thought would be just-a-normal-Friday turned out to be awesome! I went straight home after attending my 2-hour part-time job. I satisfied the cravings of my digestive system and my sweet tooth and was already at the comfort of my bed and was about to write a post about how that day was just a normal one when my Mom texted me:

Mama: Punta Paul Jake here sa office @ 2PM.
Me: Papicture ka.
Mama: Hindi ko dala camera. Punta ka dito.

And I thought she was just kidding. She was serious. My parents personally knows Paul Jake's parents as my father used to work with their firm and my Mom still works with them. The very reason why they stay tuned to Pinoy Big Brother Double Up is just because of Paul Jake. I just thought that maybe seeing Paul Jake can flip the day into an awesome one, I decided to just drop by my Mom's office. Well, I didn't just drop by, I stayed. Paul Jake is really nice and handsome and friendly just like his parents.

PJ talking to his dad

PJ and me

look at my Mom's pa-demure face XD

Mama to PJ: Dati lalakad lakad ka dito wala lang mga tao ngayon pinagkakaguluhan ka na!

So true.

The day continued to be awesome as I and my Mom went to see A Journey Home (but my Mom had seen it ahead of me at its premiere night). Watched it also together with co- youth ministry members and churchmates.

A really nice, hopeful and inspiring movie! Two thumbs up from me. The movie house was filled with laughter and tears. A movie that has a good mix of comedy and drama that will surely touch its watchers’ hearts. Kudos to Director Paul Soriano and the team.

Saturday, February 20, 1010

What, again, I thought would be a lame day turned out to be great as well! After almost a decade of not seeing each other, I'm so delighted to see Ms. Monica Tirados again! She's a childhood friend who used to live next door. We used to sit on the floor and share our collections of stickers and stationary. We used to visit each other's houses and play, ride on our bikes and enjoy our village's surroundings, would break into quarrels but would be ok later on and munch on a very hearty merienda made by our 'yayas'. I miss those days. We're adults now! O.O

Nica with the Clarete's

Sunday, February 21, 2010

First thing. To God be the Glory! I attended the 1st service of our church because our youth leader and my mentor preached in front of the congregation. I know that the Holy Spirit was there with her as many people were blessed.

Next, I, Kaye, Julie and Julo celebrated Julo's 22nd birthday at Shakey's, ATC. Whoever said that they were in reducing is a liar. XP

Shakey's Ice Cream bar is so good!

Cr: to Julo Cope for these photos

Sunday was awesome also because Tine was able to get our Super Show 2 tix! I owe you a lot! :)

Let us all welcome ~~El Niño~~ summer... And oh, this is something true :)

Your grace is enough.

I will miss you Haloscan

2010-02-18T21:35:00.008+08:00

I was with this lovely person, named Tine, yesterday. Though 'twas for a short time, the little talk we had over lunch was the highlight of my day yesterday. Imma steal her phone which btw was the one used to capture this shot. xD

And this:

Dear Life,

Why are you so bitter-sweet. I prayed that my favorite bands will have concerts here and they were answered — one on March 6, next on April 10 and then this on April 20. But I don’t recall praying for all of them to come almost at the same time. Money matters. God will provide!

1-2-3 Whateverisms:

Something supernatural happened early this evening.
Tomorrow is LaSalle's Univ Week culmination but...
There will also be a Boto Mo Ipatrol Mo sponsored event at UST tomorrow.
I might go to Divisoria tomorrow for a little help to my cousin's wedding preps. Keyword: MIGHT.
This layie would be temporary as I will try to tweak another layie (hopefully this weekend). Thank you Haloscan for serving your purpose for my 5 blogging years.
Something for my sweet tooth:

And God shall supply all your needs...

Hearts Day Tu Ow Wan Ow

2010-02-17T22:02:00.006+08:00

Endless talk over a simple dinner on hearts day with the best people in the universe made my day.

the best people in the world... let me show you them...

shots by our favorite photographer, Julo

I miss us five celebrating hearts day. No photos, wait, we took photos but Beng hasn't posted them yet. 02142010 is the simplest celebration we ever had unlike previous celebrations. But still we managed to stick to the tradition. Sometimes I wish for the old days to come back but change is inevitable.

And this is what I wore:

Let's keep this short and simple.

Better is one day in Your courts. Better is one day in Your house... than thousands elsewhere...

on both ends

2010-02-11T22:21:00.001+08:00

Today marked another graduation. It's finally the end of Winter Camp. A lot of students are going back to Korea either tonight or tomorrow. I'm left with one student with an 8am to 10am schedule. Wow, really, two hours of work?? Anyway, the graduation ceremony made us sad and miss the students right away, all because of the AVP presentation wherein it showed pictures of students and teachers. Grabe talaga. Seeing those photos made me miss my former students. You would here 'aaaaaaaaw' and sniffing among the audience. And after the ceremony, students started crying -- because they're gonna miss the friends and classmates they have and met during the camp; because they're gonna miss us teachers (yes, US, xD ). They're gonna miss Jabez. Seeing students sincerely cry, I decided to leave Jabez right away, not even took advantage of the time to talk more to my students who are about to leave. I don't want to be part of the crying. I'm an emotional, shallow-hearted person. Bleh. I pity very easily and I get touched rather easily as well. Farewell are sad. And though they're sure to comeback summer or winter camp, I'm not sure if I'm still gonna see them. I'll miss them. And they know that. I gave them farewell letters and stuffed toys and diaries and pens.

And finally I took photos of some of the farewell gifts they gave me. Of course, I took photos with them. (~~I want to change my cam already~~).

the pen with an engraved T. Merie from John

the alarm clock given to me by Sunny. I tried using the alarm this morning
and it was indeed effective. O.O

UL-me and John UR-me and Sunny
LL- John, Merry and Sunny holding my farewell gift to her
LR-cousing Merry and Sunny

I will miss them. Same with the other teachers like Teacher Roma. She's a sister in Christ and I'm blessed to meet someone like her whom I share the same beliefs with. My life at Jabez was so much fun because of her. I will miss our roofdeck random talks and break time chit-chats. I'm looking forward to a Starbucks moment with her.

And as what I mentioned earlier, I've only got a student left named Hyun-Jo. She'll go back to Korea Feb 25. I don't know if I'll stay that long in Jabez. But she told me she doesn't want to change her teacher anymore. Maybe I'll stay until then and maybe it's already a signal to go back to my real career path. Stopover is over. I thank the Lord for the calls I'm getting most especially the one I got yesterday! Next week is a prep for a turning point once again.

You know what?? God has been really good to me! I am so overwhelmed by what he's doing in my life! I am not worthy. And I never will but His grace is just what I need. If you recall one of my posts about me choosing to give up my devotion time because I am already dead tired as soon as I get home, it was a bad choice. So one night, as I was praying, the Holy Spirit revealed to me to do my daily devotions again. That time, I was crying so much. The next day, I made a choice: I'd rather have lack of sleep than give up my devotion. And from that day onwards, I kept my word. And the days have never been the same. Despite the lack of sleep, I'm not in a grumpy mood. I always look forward to a brighter day. Talking to Him and meditating on His word really brings a deeper joy in us. Just shows that if you really do things according to His will, He sticks to His promises all contained in His word. Glory to Him!

It's almost Valentine's day, and I'm not looking forward to anything. Even to my traditional celebration with my Orig4. All I know that it happens to fall on a Sunday, really good thing it's a Sunday. ORLY? It's V-Day again??

my student took this photo

2 Corinthians 1:20

CLICKIES: World of Text // Formspring // Formspring.Me

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Now playing: F.T Island - 05. 집착
via FoxyTunes

ASAP > sop

2010-02-07T21:56:00.001+08:00

Just allow me... This is while I can pour out thoughts because I have the resources and time, arasso??

I LOVE ASAP. I got the chance to watch it today for we don't have a youth gathering. Circumstances allowed me to go home (though I wasn't able to attend the worker's meeting). Anyway, I've been a 'watcher' of ASAP as soon as it started broadcasting 15 years ago. Me and my cousins were avid watchers, until, my family got active to church activities.

It was their anniversary special a while ago. It's good to relive the good ol' days. And ASAP just keeps getting better and better! I LOVE STREEBOYS and they were there and danced a while ago. There were reunions. I wasn't really a fan of THE HUNKS but to see them together again is just nostalgic. Then FULL CIRCLE, SUPAHDANCE, THE CHAMPIONS, etc etc...

And there was a bonus... 4Minute perfed too. Olleh! xD

But seriously, despite my fondness of Korean entertainment, I'm still for FILIPINO WORLDCLASS TALENT. I still believe Filipinos can do better. Just sometimes, I do not agree to those Filipino fans of kpop who bashes our own talents. I mean, there would really be bash-worthy ones but remember that the reason why Korea is so successful in this endeavor because they are very supportive of their own. On the other side, Filipino entertainment needs to be improved too, but just look at let's say ASAP, we are worldclass and we will get there.

and oh...

ASAP > sop

I'll Miss. I Miss. I Missed.

2010-02-06T22:17:00.002+08:00

I don't know but I feel like posting...

Random random random...

Yesterday is the first graduation for Winter Camp for some of the students at Jabez, which means it was their last day yesterday already. During the last hour last night, what we just did are camwhore and have fun. We didn't care with what the head teacher and Korean managers would tell us. We just made the most out of the moment. SAD. I saw some students cry and all of them feels sad that they're leaving. There was this one student named Rachael. She's not even my student but when I hugged her goodbye, she started crying. :'( She's so sweet. I hugged every girl student and my student whose English name is Joy (Kim Young Woong) but who is really a guy. He was the most pasaway (hard-headed, so playful, almost-ADHD type) student I had. I feel like he doesn't like me and he feels that I don't like him either. But during the last hour he said to me "I'll miss you" = 보고 싶을거야 (bo go shi peul guh ya) [im not sure if this is the right spelling though]. Yes he even said it in Korean because he told me that it's better said in his native language. And then before he rode into the service, we hugged each other. Almost in tears. I WILL DEFINITELY MISS ALL OF THEM. I got the email addresses of some and they told me I can stay in their homes whenever I get the chance to visit Korea. Haha! Soon, Merie, soon. :P Sarah's last day was last Thursday. She's the youngest student I had and the cutest and nicest one. :) I just need to keep up with her being talkative. ^_^ Then next week, two of my students will go back to Korea too. Sigh sigh sigh. I've been attached. Just sad...

I and Sarah. She's too prection!

This is Joy. ^_^ I'll miss him.

And still Korea-related...

4Minute is in the Philippines right now. They are having a series of mall shows at SM Malls (MOA, Megamall, North Edsa). I'm not really a fan but I liked their songs Muzik and What A Girl Wants and I missed the chance to see them perform live for free. Then this afternoon I saw them perform 'What A Girl Wants'' at Wowowee, one of our high-rating local afternoon shows. I don't know. Wowowee uhmm err. Ok. But I liked the way Jiyoon said "Bongga bongga". Haha! Anyways, Kinilig ako upon seeing them. KPop scene is now saturating Philippine market. The next 2 months, there's FTI and SJ that'll have concerts. OHEMGEE. Ok I'll stop. *restrain*

I miss the old days of Orig4+Julo. I REALLY DO. But, it's all part of growing up. Ganun talaga. It's just annoying, it's like there are people who are not extending efforts. Sorry but this is how I feel.

Last Saturday (01-30), I and Tine went to Ascott Hotel at Makati to attend an advocacy talk. It was really good not to mention the really savory food. ^___^ I might blog about this advocacy more. Keyword: MIGHT. I had a good time with her while strolling around the malls in the area. How I missed Nuffnang events and Tine of course!

And I feel like I need a haircut or specifically a fringe-trim. My fringes are going past my eyebrows already. I said to myself that I'm not having a major haircut for this year. Let's see if I'll stick to this. Ehehe.

/rant fringes are looong.
Blemishes irritate me.
I think my face is getting thinner. OH NO.
/end rant.

Lately, I've been thankful a lot to my Potter. It's just shows that when you do the things that's according to His will, good things happen. Blessings come your way. But more than these is the joy that you feel because you know you are making Him happy and proud of what you're doing.

I'm leaving my current job soon. I'm gonna put a brave face on for whatever lies ahead.

CLICKIES: World of Text // Formspring // Formspring.Me

First for 2010

2010-01-13T15:48:00.005+08:00

Currently enjoying Starbucks Southmall WiFi.

I still haven’t got my internet access back at home. And to be honest, I’m starting to get used to it already. What I miss though are blogging online, reading online and being updated. I have been busy these days. Having a job to attend to from Mondays to Fridays, 8am to 9:30pm, already eats up most of my daily 24hrs. What’s good about it is that I don’t really see and feel that it is work at all. Simply put, I am enjoying it. I love the kids I’m working with. And I like the fact that I’m imparting my knowledge to innocent minds. The only thing that I don’t like about the job is that I don’t get the needed 8 hours of sleep. I go home, I eat late dinner, watch TV a little, shower and go to bed. And then I wake up, take a bath, dress-up, eat breakfast, and head to work. The convenience of having a job near home is that I could get up even an hour before 8am. But another downside, I don’t get to do my ‘hobbies’ and sad to say, my devotion. I still read the Bible though and just have a reflection. I’m still in search for the right job, the one with regular hours and the one where I can really apply what degree I graduated of.

I still see a vast horizon and I am still chasing after my dreams. I need to be more determined now that the ‘2 years’ is about to expire. It is never too late and I still hold on to His promises.

2010 came really quick. It’s kinda hard to look back 2 years ago. 2 years passed by so quick. I just want to keep positive thoughts for 2010 most especially for what is in store for the youth ministry. This year, I want to exert my best effort to it. It’s time to get down to what really matters in life. It’s now time to harvest before it’s really too late.

this photo has no relation to what I posted haha!

CLICKIES: World of Text // Formspring // Formspring.Me

Muntik Na

2009-12-13T20:49:00.002+08:00

I laughed at myself for almost giving up. Though I don't stick to the cliche "Giving up is never an option", I admit that yesterday and until today, I somehow realized that it would actually do me good if I adhere to it. Muntikan nang matisod. But, sorry, I don't serve you people, I exist because of Him and for Him. Hah. I'm being tested. I almost failed, but thank God, I'm still holding on.

The Christmas party I went to yesterday is a so-so. Do not want to be in a Christmas party like that again.

I almost had a-day-that-sucks-big-time. But, thank God for fireworks and Starbucks, they made me smile and helped a lot to lighten my mood.

1) Mary on a toffee nut frappuccino
2) ‘OMG did I just have contact with Afianne (Fiamette)and Monique (Centimosa)??’
3) I guess I’m tweeting through my phone??

L) Mr. Photographer caught in motion
R) My own shot of my SB drink for the night

It’s supposed to be a shadow of me. I’m deformed.

Last night, the heavens witnessed me dancing on our streets.

Yes, I did dance, while listening to some music. No one’s watching or at least I wasn’t aware that someone is. And I loved it. I feel like doing it more often or every time I get home past 12AM.

Today, I'm stubborn. Tomorrow is another day -- one challenging day. Hwaiting!

1-2-3 Whateverisms:

This 99 Common English Mistakes seriously made me more conscious of how I write. Dang! I'm like shot by every bullet. Bang bang. MagTagalog na lang kasi.
I want a wardrobe makeover.
I'm 'planning' to buy 3 pairs of booties. Keyword: PLAN.
I want to raid Ukay-ukays. Preferably those at Anonas.
I just realized that this blog is starting to say so much STARBUCKS that's why people are already starting to tie Starbucks with my name. :(

"Your stubborn love never let go of me."

CLICKIES: World of Text // Formspring // Formspring.Me

Say goodbye to too much fangirling. Say hello to a whole new world~

2009-12-12T00:00:00.005+08:00

Come Monday, and hopefully onwards, my schedule would be pretty hectic (artista??). Seriously, I chose that kind of schedule and I need to endure it. I need money. This would be a challenge. I got 'THE CALL' this evening and I was in shock after talking to her. I was thinking way too much that I haven't noticed my Mom entering my room and saw me in a staring-at-space-mood. Lord, help me. To be honest, I have no idea how to start. And what that Jonathan told us is that the beginning is the crucial part of this career. I must be one step ahead. Wah! I am scared.

Yesterday, I had a good time for myself. I had a funny experience and after that funny experience, I decided to do the 'chill walk' (Jose should copyright this already). I walked my way to ATC and tried this different path that I *ahem* discovered. It was a long walk but I did not complain. This stick-thin body needs exercise too.

I stayed in Powerbooks and continued reading some books and some magazines. I decided to own copies and so I texted Tita Alice and ordered some. I am excited to read those. They would help me - A LOT.

And as I often do after staying in Powerbooks, I headed to Starbucks, which is just less than 50 steps away (I really counted it), and had my weekly dose.

"One Vanilla Frappuccino for Ms. Ma..."
I handed over the receipt and the barista's still trying to figure out what's written on it.
"Ma... Tol, ano to?"
I gladly butted in and said "Merie."

My Merie is ALWAYS misspelled and how a barista cannot read it is already beyond me. I want Merie written on my cup!! Just saying.

Yes, the coffee-based frappuccino lover that I am ordered the cream-based vanilla frappe just because I can. It's just my second time. I was patiently waiting for my nook to be cleared but I got tired of waiting and so I decided to sit by the glass window. There were skaters outside who from time-to-time distracted me.

When I'm in Starbucks and alone, I always grab the chance to reflect on myself. Maarte ako, kailangan sa Starbucks pa talaga. Haha. Of course I kid. When I'm in Starbucks I talk to myself and to my Potter, with the feel-good jazz music on the background. I always realize a lot of things which is actually good. And as soon as I stand up and step away from where I was seated, I move on with life, doing the best I can to be better in His sight.

1-2-3 Whateverisms:

Let me share with you my latest 'sketch'. I will get better, right?

Tomorrow I shall attend our church's national council Christmas party and the attire is *drumroll please* SPORTS ATTIRE! Yeah, right. I'm thinking of wearing my cheering outfit.

If ever some 'follower' of mine wants to know where I mostly lurk: in my Tumblr.

Also, I decided to go back to day 1 of PDL 2 nights ago and not just read it but study it and do an in-depth and deeper reflections each day. So let me end with this:

CLICKIES: World of Text // Formspring // Formspring.Me

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Now playing: 최시원 - Who Am I
via FoxyTunes

Sunday no. 49

2009-12-08T00:32:00.002+08:00

It's the quickest title i can think of (despite the fact I somehow counted)...

I was the MC of our church's 2nd service. It's not an easy task. I was shaking. There were around 400 people in front of me and I was almost lost for words. But of course I asked for the Holy Spirit's guidance and I did pretty well for a first-timer. Oh please, let me do prayers not much of an MC. I know I've been MC-ing for youth gatherings but not for this. I can't live without throwing a lame punchline. Lol. Lame...

And then we had this exam during our youth gathering and it was really like an exam taking by students in class and make the subject Theology. Hahaha! It was a funny experience for our youth group because I seriously saw creased eyebrows and wrinkled foreheads because of too much thinking about the answers. Some of the questions were Bible based, some were taken from lessons taken. Funny how almost of us hear the verses every Sunday/convention/seminars and yet when it's time to fill in the blanks, all we wanna do is grab the Bible we have and look for the right answer. We have yet to know the results on Sunday. Lol. Just like a real exam, we were seated one seat apart. HAHAHAHA!

Of course the usual eat-and-talk followed.

Anticipating that there would be a fireworks display, which we found out later that there was none, together with my family , we had our dinner outside. It's something we seldom do since my sister lives in an apartment near the university where she studies and on weekends, all of us have different ministries and commitments to attend to. So I'm thankful.

And...

being the someone-to-run-to-when-you-want-to-consult-with-something-to-wear-slash-someone-to-turn-to-when-you-need-a-shopping-buddy that I am (ok that was some really long , nonsense adjective), I accompanied Julie in looking for her '70s' outfit she needs to wear on her Christmas party. We ended up buying something from Freeway :)

After which, we met Julo and decided to head to Starbucks, Alabang-Zapote Road only to receive a text from Beng that basically made us transfer to Starbucks, Madrigal and still ended up in Starbucks, ATC.

There is no any sign of regret since we enjoyed that night that has long been missed by each one of us (again, Kaye, where art thou??). We talked about something something bla bla, and that things that make them busy and the things that make us not busy. Wait, whut?? I would always be one non-sense blogger.

But seriously, amidst the chatting, I was observing them, and their aura is just so strong I can feel their happiness. I am definitely happy for them. Seeing them happy after a long time of not chilling together, is something that made my sleeping sound that night.

yes, ive always been the not-so-fair-skinned among us 5
but am proud.
Oh, I dislike the fact that they label me 'Koreana na talaga ah'
>_> Seriously, friends?

And as I walked home, I again pondered about my vast horizon. And I again looked at the sky, for as long as I see the stars, I'd keep on dreaming and I'd keep on moving towards them.

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Now playing: Hillsong United - To The Ends Of The Earth
via FoxyTunes

Parking Lot Getaway

2009-12-03T01:21:00.003+08:00

Yeah right, I visited the salon for another haircut just this afternoon. I just got my haircut last Monday. Lol. Not contented? Now my bangs gone really SHORTER. But I'm dealing with it. Haha! Julo and I, after chilling at Starbucks ATC, played with his camera in the parking lot. It was fun. I forgot I had some real-life problems to deal with.

Heck yes! These are my shots of the awesomest photographer I know -- Julo!

we played with the parking lot light

the me still devouring over my hot choco even outside Starbucks and my really cute artwork :D

And of course I spent time with my journal, my Bible, sketchpad, pencils and colored Staedtler pens

wouldn't be complete without my fail name spelling

1-2-3 Whateverisms:

still need to continue writing that fanaccount xD
tomorrow is worth another try

What's for tomorrow?

cr: Julo for the photos

It used to be darkness without you. I lived my life in blindness but now I am found. And I'll sing, sing I love you so... And I'll sing because the world can't take away Your love...

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Now playing: Kutless - Somewhere In The Sky
via FoxyTunes

Caramel Macchiato and LDD

2009-11-25T00:34:00.001+08:00

*calming myself down*

YES I FINALLY GOT MY CLAIM STUB FOR PHILIPPINES-KOREA FRIENDSHIP FESTIVAL CONCERT THAT FEATURES SHINee!!! OMG!!! Here is the crazy fangirl:

Today's one rainy day. I got rained on, but didn't complain. I love the rain but just makes me question why when I'm at home, the weather's severely hot and when I go out, it rains on me. Psh. WHY?! Haha!

So I went to Manila. It was all nostalgic -- missing university days -- I passed by DLSU-M and saw these students. Life is so much different outside university student life. *sigh* I also went to Robinsons Place - Manila. I love the Midtown. And the usual me goes to Powerbooks to have a look at the books and whatnots. Didn't stay there for long as I had done what I'm supposed to do there which is to meet Nikka :)

After RP, I went to McDo-Lasalle. There was no change. Just the people in it. My sister and I shared fries and spaghetti.. Yummeh! And then I haz the claim stub! Wuhoo!

Happily stepped out of McDonald's -- I headed to ATC to stay at Starbucks. :) Julo was there too. And of course it wouldn't be complete without Oluj shots...

(left) the Starbucks afficionado (right) and the drink for the day: Hot Caramel Macchiato

(left) ugh look at the rained-and-smoked-on bangs trying hard to be kawaii
(right) this photo is a good photo of a me-in-Starbucks-look

1-2-3-whateverisms:

On my way to RP, I saw a neon lollipop, I so wanted to buy one but the store owner is nowhere to be found. Stealing is a crime! haha!
I also saw some really cool glasses but .. :( I do not have money to spend on those.. Urgh...
Tomorrow (Later) I shall go to Jabez and try my luck.. Weeee!
I need an intimate time with my Bible again. Tomorrow, yes?
I wanna watch NINJA ASSASSIN!!!
I now haz the New Moon soundtrack!
I saw a really cute Korean O__O

Waaaah!! FRIDAY , CCP, Festival HERE I COOOOOME!!! xD

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Now playing: Relient K - Over Thinking
via FoxyTunes

Weekend no.47

2009-11-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

Nov 21, 2009

The day thrilled up as soon as the sun had set. Movie date with Friday club feat. Armon.

So after Julio had SMS-ed us that there are available seats in Festival Mall, Julie, Nik, Armon and I had our final YES to see the New Moon movie which was actually long been scheduled -- a year ago. Just sad, other BERKS whom I greatly expect of didn't respond. Boo Y'ALL! Busy much eh? Anyways, the screening started 9:05PM. Uhmmm, I don't have much to tell about a lame-sleepy movie. As what I expected, the novel itself is not worthy of a movie and voila! I was right. I don't even know why others applauded when the credits were already being shown. And as I always say, don't judge a movie by its book is HIGHLY applicable. I swear I napped for a little less than 5 mins. Oh, some people shrieked that time Jacob removed his shirt. Whuuut? Just a few things I loved about the movie:

The audience's reaction to it
the OST
and that part when the Volturi was in it.

K, thanks.

So where will be the best place to chill and chat after going out from a movie house?? Starbucks!

(1)The Friday Club feat Armon (2)that Barista didn't even wrote my name on my Toffee Nut Latte, so I wrote it myself xD! (3)Every year Starbucks gives out planners if you have completed a certain no. of stickers which are earned through buying a Starbucks drink (4) Our orders all together in one tray

We talked about how lame the movie is, and... I can't remember all since 'twas really one random chat. So no matter how lame New Moon is, what's far more important is that I had the chance to go out and bond with my friends!

Nov 22, 2009

This is what I wore, Sunday. And I guess I should always wear a dress since I got lots of compliments! Ha! Kapal lang eh... That Sunday was one long Sunday. After attending the 2nd service, I had lunch and right after lunch I had a meeting then right after the meeting we had our monthly youth service then youth service was not done yet when I was called for another meeting >__>. Then I was kicked out, well not really, out of that meeting so I went back to the youth service. After the youth service we had some salu-salo cos Geli is now a licensed teacher. Wuhoo! Then after, we had some chats and humorous conversations then we went to Aaron's Mom's wake, then we went to visit Agullo residence and saw this turtle which I'm thinking of how to take it home.. hmmm...:

Wait i'm not yet done, then we had dinner at Aldea's residence. I was the last one to finish cos uhmm well I think I ate 4 servings. Eh, ang sarap ng adobo and fish eh!!! Uhmmm I got full that I looked like a butete, having a big tummy after eating.

Then I went home.

Weekend no. 47 is not lame HOORAY! Wonder how next weekend will turn out. Oh please, let me see the last fashion show!

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Now playing: Kutless - Tonight
via FoxyTunes

The David in Pacquiao

2009-11-20T20:29:00.003+08:00

Manny Pacquiao is someone really worthy to be labeled as Pinoy Pride. Let us set aside those controversies tagged along with his name. Thus I support what Pres. GMA awarded him -- the Sikatuna Award Rank of Datu -- just this afternoon. He is one true-blooded Pinoy not merely going up inside the rink and fighting for his label's sake nor for money but he's also fighting for and in-behalf of his beloved Philippines and its citizenry. No wonder his name is paired with Pambansang Kamao, Pound for Pound King, People's Champ, bayani among others.

Yes, truly his training, hard work, discipline and everything else coupled with what a good boxer must do helped him a lot in winning. But what I personally think that helped him the most in winning all his fights -- is his strong faith in His Creator. I admire his faith the most. Whenever I hear his speeches and interviews, he never forgets to say that the cause of his victory is God, ang Diyos niya. He always does the sign of the cross. He prays. He trusts God that He will help him win the fight. He does not just rely on his own strength but he relies to what God can do the most. This is also the greatest thing Aling/Mommy Dionisia imparted to his son.

Most of us are aware about the story of David and Goliath -- how a small person beat a giant one. Why? All because David believed that God is with Him. This is why I see a David in Pacquiao.

I personally like the things he said during the thanksgiving mass in Quiapo:

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Malakas ang loob ko, nagdasal ako tapos milyun-milyon na Pilipino ang nagdasal para sa akin. So bakit pa ako mag-aalinlangan? Bakit pa ako mangangamba? Bakit pa ako matatakot? Nandiyan ang Panginoon sa akin... (I'm confident. I prayed then millions of Filipinos prayed for me. So why do I have to be bothered? Why will I be afraid? Jesus is in me.)

I pray that everyone might get an inspiration from Pacquiao -- a person who really loves God and his country...

Frustrated Dream-Chaser

2009-11-18T22:57:00.002+08:00

I've been dreaming since I was little and it saddens me that the only dream I'm proud of as of now is being able to graduate from college and being a degree-holder. But... From a course I NEVER dreamed of. I will always regret that day I crossed out Clothing Technology as my course choice in UP Diliman. Regretted even more that I didn't made it to the BAA quota but passed the UPCAT accepted scores. "I should've been accepted in UP". Time passed by and through constant talking to my Potter, and musing and wandering a lot in the past months -- I know there's a purpose for having been able to graduate from BSC-Management of Financial Institutions from a prominent university, DLSU-M.

I also think "it might be too late" when I see younger people than me being able to do things they love doing and being recognized and swarmed with warm love and greetings and appreciation just because they did their best in their chosen endeavors. I pity myself at times. I get confuse and lost in the sea of anonymity. But age doesn't matter. It's never too late to go for what your passion is. And it takes just to be the real me to achieve it.

I am never as determined as before. I'll reach for this one dream. Never giving up, never letting go, never looking back to regrets but just moving forward towards that dream.

*will always stick to my Potter's promise

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
--Jeremiah 29:11

Struck, Pondered and Moving On...

2009-11-17T03:03:00.006+08:00

The aftermath of Passionista. Followed by 1 John 2:16. I was slapped. I woke up from a sad and bitter reality. I pondered. I'm now moving on. That's how I wanna show our love is mutual and irrevocable.

From now on...I’d take as many steps towards my dream in each tick of a second with each passing day…Never letting go…Making things finally happen…

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Now playing: Yellowcard - Fighting
via FoxyTunes

Lamest So Far

2009-11-14T21:58:00.008+08:00

This is my yearly birthday post.

Yes, as what you can read -- it's the lamest. I just feel sad that nothing special happened. Or maybe I was just used to surprises and celebrations the past 21 years. I was used to my Orig4 celebrating it with me -- but this year, it is totally different. SO DIFFERENT that my parents didn't even greet me on Merie-day. So different that I didn't even had a birthday cake. So different... That I just consoled myself that whatever happens for the rest of the week, it's part of my week-long celebration, yeah whatever. After all, I wished for something like this.

Sunday - Nov 8

I had a 'mini celebration' with just some of my churchmates after watching Paranormal Activity. Just a mini one -- little salu-salo and bonding moments talking about horror films to Pokemon characters to romance comedies to almost anything.

im not in it cos i took it

Monday - Nov 9 - the day itself...

Like what I've said, I seldom celebrate on this day. It's usually a 'normal day' when I just remember that at 4PM in 1987, I was born. Oh and I'm reminded -- this year is rather special 'in a way' because I was born on a Monday. And i should not forget the endless FB greetings and Tumblr greetings -- these jumpstarted my day actually. My SJF made it special.

Tuesday - Nov 10

I spent some time for myself. Strolled around the mall and bought some stuffs for no other than me. Of course time for myself would always include a stay in Powerbooks. Then I met Julo. We strolled like what always happen. Took photos, uhmmmm rather lame ones than we had in 2 years. We ate at McDo. And we chilled at Starbucks where we talked about our frustrations and dreams (clickable). This day somehow, took away the loneliness.

Wednesday - Nov 11

I invited Julo, Julie and Julio (btw I'm Jerie that night) to watch a 2012 screening in my church but there was a sudden change of plans and we ended up in ATC. Yes, again. We ate at Yellowcab (many thanks to Julie) then while we were eating Mariane came! Yay! I'm back to being Merie. We chatted of course and then we decided to chill at Starbucks. Toffee Nut Caramel Venti (many thanks to Julio) and Choco Peanut Butter Brownie (i love Mariane). Of course we talked about a lot of things yet again and silly gossips. Oh, you know FB stuffs?? Yes, that we talked about too. Beng was in the nearest McDo so we went there and we chatted. 'Twas fun.

Thursday - Nov 12

Thanks to late birthday greetings.

Friday - Nov 13

I guess this is my celebration. I was all alone. I went to ATC. I stayed in Powerbooks where I browsed magazines, read Intimate Encounters with God, Emails from God to Men, 101 Things You Need To Buy Before You Die and skimmed and scanned some other books. I got hungry and so I ate some Jollibee and Greenwhich meals. After which, I chill-ed on my own at Starbucks where I sketched, had completely reread It's Not About Me by Max Lucado, wrote, doodled -- I enjoyed this time for myself. I stayed until around 8:30PM and then took off.

Don't get me wrong. I may be saddened, but I am not completely ungrateful. I am blessed I've reached this age. I am grateful I still was able to do these things for my birthday when others let their birthdays pass without even eating. I am thankful I have these friends after all these years. I still breathe. I still can see. My heart keeps on beating. I can hear. I can feel. I live.

Of course, my POTTER is the reason why am I still alive and was able to still make use of my nostrils in getting and releasing air.

Dear Lord,
I may be saddened, but I thank You for all of these. I owe everything to You. I still pray that despite my shortcomings, use me (forever my prayer).
Amen.

Lag

2009-11-12T22:42:00.004+08:00

I'm lagging here. I'm more active in writing my daily musings in my LiveJournal and Tumblr (i'm welcome to friends and followers. js. haha!). I wanted to post my full Passionista blog and my yearly birthday post but I don't think I can anytime soon. *sigh* I also find it weird that my blogger friends have been lost somewhere. :( I feel like I'm all alone in here well except for my Shing, Tine (well, duuuuh? :P) and a few more others who I call are definitely the real bloggers and not just online posers.

Of frustrations and dreams...

It was one Tuesday night when two frustrated dreamers talked about what else -- their frustrations and dreams -- over a plate of peppermint chocolate cake and caramel frappuccino. A lot of confusion filled the little corner where they are seated. They found a lot of commonalities between them two. They shared their really little job experiences and how it was contrasting that they've graduated from courses and from prominent universities not really part of their passion. They are left-brained people who are up to now constantly trying their earnest chasing their dreams. Their future is of a blurry, but their dreams are so vivid. Maybe someday... No, they WOULD someday...

While i was walking along our street, I was talking to my Potter, “When? Will I forever long and be frustrated?”. I looked up to the sky, and saw the lovely heavenly bodies — clear sky, the stars are brightly shining. There was this brightest star, oh this is my star! I stared on it and thought, as long as I see you shining, I’m never giving up my dream. Right then and there, I saw a falling star, I smiled and thanked my Potter, and another falling star — my Potter loves me, He encourages me, He gives me hope…

Someday…

for the past 5 years...

2009-11-09T02:52:00.002+08:00

----------------
Now playing: 에픽하이 (Epik High) - Rocksteady (Feat. Kero One, Dumbfoundead, MYK, Rakka (Dilated Peoples))
via FoxyTunes im bound to post my yearly birthday post soon...
what is in store for me?
Nov 9 already started great and even had a mini Nov 8 celebration (just like last year)..

60th post

2009-11-05T00:08:00.006+08:00

and I can't think of a good title...

Slowly, i am getting into my senses. I only need this one thing to complete my transformation. I've been pondering a lot lately. I don't sleep right away, I pray and think a lot but in the end entrust all unto my Potter.

Hello blogspot!!! Can you say something in here?? Ok thanks. :P

I was itching to write a new post cos I'm fresh from a successful event, yes the Passionista '09. But I'm waiting for the photos and i don't even know why out of at least 5 cameras of the media prod (DSLRs to mention), NOONE has uploaded yet. Fail. So I decided to have a brief post and just post another one when photos are up whenever it'd be available.

As I have said it was a HUGE SUCCESS all because and for HIM. I must say it is the best YOUTH ANNUAL our church HAD in 5 years :) All glory and gratefulness to Him! I must also admit that yes, we combined WORLDY things in this event but allowed the Word of God and the move of the Holy Spirit to awash ungodliness in us -- as what is according to our theme verse Titus 2:11-12

In this present age, say no to ungodliness and worldly passion.

The thought is, we must be more than just 'fashionistas'. We must have the passion -- passion for the souls, passion for serving Him, we must reflect the same passion Jesus has. Our opening no. is I can say the best too. We walked on the ramp and performed The Glory by Avalon after. Honestly, just during the rehearsals, I already cried practicing it. God is just so awesome! I wish I could share a video of our performance but it is another fail, noone recorded it!

Rev Reggie preached to us about how powerful our choice is. And the greatest choice the youths made that night -- the choice to accept Him, to offer our lives to Him and serve Him. Sa totoo lang, nabitin ako sa Word of God but still we were superbly blessed.

The rest of the night was plain bonding among the CGM chapters, some may have left earlier than the rest but we still had fun. We had the best icebreakers and the food is satisfying too! The annual ended up at around 12AM but we had more bonding after.

How GREAT did God move in this event? Despite the typhoon that day, they all came and got home safe!

On other note, I want these albums:

It's again November and hmmm i look forward to whatever i would write on my yearly birthday post.

I have been active everywhere in cyberspace and so i decided to delete some of my accounts. Gah, LJ, Tumblr, Plurk, Twitter, Multiply, Facebook, and Plurk are the top sites I visit.

I'll leave this video... I pray that you be blessed like how we were blessed by this song...

In the solitary moment of His birth on this barren dusty land, all of heaven kissed the face of the earth. With a miracle of love God became a man but He was sent away to draw His final breath when He was only thirty-three, and in the shame of dying a criminal's death He cleansed an angry world.

And in His suffering I see the glory of the blood, the beauty of the body that was broken for our forgiveness -- the glory of His perfect love is the heart of the story -- the glory of the blood.

Now I have tried to find salvation on my own in a search for something real but there's a guilty heart inside this flesh and bone fall upon His grace and I begin to feel the glory of the blood, the beauty of the body that was broken for our forgiveness -- the glory of His perfect love is the heart of the story -- the glory of the blood.

And when I close my eyes I can see Him hanging there! Oh the precious wounded Lamb of God all the majesty in this world cannot compare to the glory The beauty of the body the glory of the blood, the beauty of the body that was broken for our forgiveness -- the glory of His perfect love is the heart of the story -- the glory of the blood. But He was sent away to draw His final breath when He was only thirty-three .

-The Glory (Avalon)

Someday i'll walk along the aisle...

2009-10-27T23:20:00.005+08:00

The wedding photos and footage i have seen today make me wanna wear a lovely bridal gown and walk along the aisle…

I, wearing the white bridal gown
You, wearing the suit
Both of us walking in sync towards the stars and moon, I swear
No lies, no suspicion
My dearest prince, stay with me

my dear butterfly, i’ve been in this garden for so long, when will you land onto my palm?

Sing Marry U to me please...

I think you are my echo. When I first met you, I thought that it was as if all of the things I had shouted out into the world before knowing you had come back to me in your form. … All the hopes and wishes, dreams and happinesses that you have carried thus far, I’ll give to you. I love you.

If in the far-off future someone were to ask me what my life’s achievements were … I would say that it was the time I spent living by your side, spending forever with you, loving you and holding you.

Not totally OK but a LOT better now

2009-10-26T22:44:00.006+08:00

My dear blogspot, I missed you :)

Days had been crooked, I had the nastiest moods, i felt chaotic, my head was in a HUGE mess and now I'm feeling better :) Thank God.

So what keeps me busy??

It's on Friday already! Yay!!! Can't wait! But uh yeah I need self-preparations for this too...

Also, I'm hooked to the drama You're Beautiful. I love A.N.Jell :) It's like my favorite Asian dramas and Kpop fandomism (is there such word?? whatever) combined into one.

I want to clean up links. A lot has forgotten me or bubbly disappeared. I'm keeping those who are alive (ok i don't mean others as dead dead). :)

I haven't left the blogging world at all. I'm lurking in my LJ and my many tumblelogs :D

Who am I that you are mindful of me?

----------------
Now playing: Youth Alive WA - God of miracles
via FoxyTunes

til i find myself again

2009-09-06T00:30:00.002+08:00

I'll be back here when I'm totally fine cos apparently I AM NOT.
I'm on other blogs where I am ranting most of the time. (hello LJ)
Sorry if i have to abandon you for now.
I'll be back, hopefully soon.

Something is definitely wrong with me.

I start by admitting this to myself.

I See the Sky

2009-08-27T21:01:00.005+08:00

The sky, the clouds, the rainbow, the stars ~ these are all that cheer me up and help me brighten my day when i'm in a gloomy mood. That photo on the left was shot by me (im no good at photography) yesterday while i'm walking along our street. I came from wandering around the city and i realized again and again and again that life is indeed wonderful. Yesterday is a bliss. Yes, I was alone wandering but I am free ~ that freedom God gave me. I've sort of pondered what have I been doing with the freedom God has granted ~ then too many realizations followed. But at the end of the day I'm grateful and happy.

In the past days being a "bum", a lot of queries ran through my mind that I got confused and even got depressed. But I know who's the answer and I just have to turn to Him. The rainbow has always been an epitome of hope for me, and as I saw one on the sky yesterday, I know that it's God's signal. I failed, I screwed, I stumbled. To be able to move forward, I must stand and act. I must not remain still. I must move on. I now know what I really want in life, but I'm still after His plans for me and I have long surrendered this life to Him.

**********

midnight fantasy

2009-08-17T20:57:00.011+08:00

Something's wrong with me but I'm doing the best that I can to get rid of the mess.

I'm bum for 3 weeks now. I stay at home 99% of the time. And I spend a lot of my time with my laptop and with the internet -- just like almost the same time of the year of 2008. I pray and is constantly talking to God to what His plans are for me. As for now, all I can see is a vast horizon. I feel like I'm riding a car, heavy rain pouring outside and my view isn't clear. I need the sun, I need God to tell me, and I need me to hear Him.

I leave it up to Him. His plans are way better than mine.

Anyway, the past 2 weeks have been FUN. Well, ~~except for that one day that I wasn't able to spend time with my friends in Batangas.~~ I feel like I'm a 16 year old, my parents not allowing me to go.

Tuesday (Aug 11)...

a friend gave me a G.I. Joe movie treat. (Thanks, Eo!) I find the movie good and I liked it better than Transformers2. Channing Tatum and Storm Shadow just made the movie even better. 0_O Also, while watching, I sort of thought of dying my hair blonde. Lol. It was just a funny random thought, just wondered how different will I look just like Sienna Miller going from blonde to black, so thought of the other way around.

Also, last week, I have been going back and forth at Eastwood City, that was from Tuesday to Thursday, toook some exam and attended interviews. Thursday, I was really surprised that it was a panel interview, good thing one interviewer is uhm, looks interesting. Lol.

Saturday (Aug 15)...

I went out with my best-est friends. Beng want us to formally meet Jep, her suitor and he seems nice. We chill-ed at Starbucks near Ruins, one of our fave hangout place. The four of us were complete! Unfortunately, I don't have a photo. Darn. Something has changed and I guess it would never be the way it used to be.

Sunday (Aug 16)...

got my weekly dose of praising and worshiping my Creator. Some longing...

and apart from attending church service, I went to Ramon's thanksgiving celebration because he passed the nursing board exam, he's now a R.N. I was also able to meet and bond with other high school friends. Oh those were the days. We felt old conversing about work/job stuffs. Ugh. Oh I want to steal the chocolate fountain.

I have been dwelling much on Tumb lr lately and I'm blessed I was able to meet new friends -- 1 unnie (older sister), oh hi Jessi, and 14 dongsaengs (sibs younger than me), hello everyone, shouts out to Ade and Ashlii! They're really fun to talk, to scream, to converse, to fangirl with. They are lovable crazy people. I'm so thankful I met them all!

...from as simple as “i feel sleepy” to “i feel lonely”. it’s like we’re really one family. we are bonded...

...i feel really blessed that i have these persons i call dongsaengs and unnie, persons whom i can share my thoughts with and pass on my craziness, and will not judge me....
this group has really gave me joy, brought real joy into my heart, and is still giving me my daily doses of haengbok.

and i will treasure this, surely treasure this…

-part of a blog entry from MidnightFantasy12

i'm currently thinking of how will I get the SOFF book, Story of Four Flowers photobook, (thanks again to AllKPop) it's bound to be released on September 5 in Korea and Japan only. How the how can I have one? Lee Min Ho and 168 pages and photobook, and Korea's sites and views and Kim Hyung Joon and Kim Bum and Kim Jun, aiiish! I WANT!

...the time without you in my life was full of darkness
But ever since I've met you, my life's been like a dream
-Miracle, Super Junior

Define Haengbok :)

2009-08-07T19:59:00.010+08:00

Lalalala.

No I won't blog about Eunhyuk's lovable dance moves. Just posting. Haha!

But this --> Can't help but post this. I. CAN'T. FRIGGIN'. WAIT!!! Haha. An avid reader of my blog would know that two of my fave TV series-es, are It Started With A Kiss & its sequel They Kiss Again. It's an adaptation of the manga Itazura na Kiss (Mischievous Kiss). I have watched the anime version itself, and of course the Taiwanese TV series. I love the plot no matter how foolish it may seem :) Jiang Zhi Shu and Yuan Xiang Qin (Kotoko Aihara and Naoki Irie in the Itazura na Kiss manga/anime) are just so cute. And up until now, I'm listening to its OST. Haha! Anyway, moving on, I have read from this site (AllKPop rocks, haha!), that there would be a Korean remake of Itazura na Kiss!!! Group Eight bought the rights and this is the same company who bought the rights of Hanayori Dango, yes, the one responsible for Boys Over Flowers as well, which made me giddy more as we all know how successful their version was. My anticipation is heightened even more as according to the article I've just read, they are thinking of putting a new ending. FYI, the manga is unfinished as the author died unexpectedly, the reason why They Kiss Again is somehow "bitin". So, yes, there I JUST CAN'T WAIT, even if it would take me a year of waiting :) *insert a dancing Merie here* lol.

On other note, I would also want to blog about my weird dream last night. I was a runaway bride. Oh yes. W.E.I.R.D. I can vividly remember the "cast of characters" and yes, even the groom. I won't mention names as I do believe that dreams are sometimes caused by repressed memories. So, I'm shutting my mouth. But I guess, I can find a logic -- maybe it was caused by my being able to watch the "abangan" part of two TV series. In Love or Bread (starring ArJoe), Lalaine (Ariel Lin), ran away from the wedding, and in Boys Over Flowers, Jae Kyung opposed the wedding right before the wedding ceremonies. There there.

And also I can't wait for the upcoming Inkigayo and Music Core.

part of Haengbok's MV, one of my fave SuJu songs,
some call it gay-ish but they're really so cute forming the saranghe sign.. haha!

I wish my ever-strict Mom would allow me to go to tomorrow's outing. *crossing my fingers*

I want to hide under the sheets, stare at the ceiling, feel the wind, enjoy the rain...

Comeback

2009-08-04T20:19:00.013+08:00

I'm back complete with a new layie for my blog who just turned 1 last July! Happy 1-year http://msheng12-fruitcake.blogspot.com! (still missing my old blog though *sniff sniff*). Simple layie as I don't wanna spend hours tweaking. The header photos were taken by Oluj (my fave photographer) and I just simply edited it. Twas from our photoshoot last Saturday.

Again & again (& again & again... to the tune of 2PM's song..haha!), after more than a month, an update! Yipee yay!!

A LOT, LORS and LORS had happened from the last and before the last update. Since I have not updated formally for the month of June, allow me a brief run through of the happenings:

June..

(looks at my planner and journal...)

Oh, nothing really special except that I visited our province Bohol together with my family and of course had a blast. The highlights:

tried the new zipline (longest in the Philippines) @ E.A.T adventure park in Danao, Bohol. It was FUN!!! Indeed a wonderful experience!

(forgive my errr shrieking hahaha! I got a bit scared but was all worth it!

You should try it when you visit Bohol)

Lola's birthday celebration
Mini Clarete reunion @ Dumaluan beach

(Bohol pictures here)

July.

Fast forward to the end of July, I resigned from my very first work. That was 6 months of being an MPC Analyst at Rustan Commercial Corporation. I finally made up my mind -- i will follow what my heart truly desires (drama much haha!) and will enroll myself in a fashion school, but of course will not totally leave the corporate world as a lot of money was invested in my education (hello, DLSU-M tuition fee! haha!). Looking forward to studying again. :) I'll definitely miss my very first workstation, the family-aura-office and also the discount every time I purchase anything from Starbucks (oh goodbye RCC perks & privileges)! But more than these, I will surely miss my RCC family, my very first office family. As a despedida gift they gave me a bag plus farewell letters complete with photos of my Asian crushes haha! They absolutely know my obsession!

the farewell letters. and those are photos of Teukie and a topless Lee Min Ho! haha!

the bag they gave me.

My RCC Family

Just last night I had dinner with them @ Lutong Macau.

August...

The Filipinos are deeply saddened by President Cory's death. I was born under her presidency therefore I can say I'm a Cory Aquino baby? Haha! But seriously I admire her integrity, humility and most of all her deep faith in God. I salute her for all of these traits. May we, Filipinos, live by the examples she left us.

Anyway, on that same day Tita Cory died, I, Julo and Julie had nothing to do so we scheduled our photoshoot @ their condo. Here are some of my faves:

More photos @ Oluj's site

Another photo-filled entry. haha! As always, what's new with mSheng12. Now, will do one of the things I miss doing - bloghopping! :)

God Bless everyone!

Oh, pahabol!

Haha!

MERiE-isms

119. Living the Present But Looking Forward

118. I Couldn't Ask for More

117. The Art of Making Others Happy

116. The Last 2011 Saturdate

115. The Distracting Centerpiece (the Christmas so-called Party)

114. Happy 11th

113. Birthmonth Day 26 Spectacular Spectrum

112. Birthmonth Day 19 Finally Mr. Hari ng Sablay

111. Birthmonth Day 16 Good Morning

110. Birthmonth Day 12 Of Food and Music

109. Birthmonth Day 9: The Yearly Birthday Post -- It's Superbly Special

108. Birthmonth Day 8: Some me-time

106. Birthmonth Day 6: With my Girls

105. Birthmonth Day 5: Happy Birthday Baby

104. Birthmonth Day 4: Before his and our day

103. Birthmonth Day 3

102. Birthmonth Day 2: Back to Work

no.101 Birthmonth Day 1.2 -- DIY

no.100 Birthmonth Day 1

no. 99 nice!

no.98 after five months

no.97 it's time...

96. first for 2011

2010 Yearly Birthday Post

94. this is how I define non-peak

Now you're in a painful situation. But I will see you again. Then you will be happy, and no one will take that happiness away from you.-John 16:22

93. cos I badly want to start anew but there's really no need to it

92. today's a holiday so i found time to write this entry

91. incoherent

90. I wanna be in the movie.

89. I voted cos I can

88. it's about time....again...

out of the usual

the SUPER longweekend, let me blog about it...

more than just eggs and bunnies

i might write a long entry or not

first day. fresh start.

For I know the plans I have for you ...

Awesome Weekend no. 8

I will miss you Haloscan

Hearts Day Tu Ow Wan Ow

on both ends

ASAP > sop

I'll Miss. I Miss. I Missed.

First for 2010

Muntik Na

Say goodbye to too much fangirling. Say hello to a whole new world~

Sunday no. 49

Parking Lot Getaway

Caramel Macchiato and LDD

Weekend no.47

The David in Pacquiao

Frustrated Dream-Chaser

Struck, Pondered and Moving On...

Lamest So Far

Lag

for the past 5 years...

60th post

Someday i'll walk along the aisle...

Not totally OK but a LOT better now

til i find myself again

I See the Sky

midnight fantasy

Define Haengbok :)

Comeback

Now you're in a painful situation. But I will see you again. Then you will be happy, and no one will take that happiness away from you.
-John 16:22