And just because the full moon attracts the depths of my sentimental, melodramatic, over-emotional, sadness whatever, I am posting at this wee hour thinking of what tomorrow, or rather later may bring. It has not been a smooth ride for both of us in that place where it all began. But for the past two years and seven months we were just near each other, figuratively and yes, literally. If you recall my Poignancy post, it's about my bf's resignation from the same company I (now 'used to') work for. Funny how I try to dry run the supposed to be typical day, and supposed to be together/for both of us, but we will have to do it separately now. And trust me, I get overemotional with the littlest things. No more lunch together or randomly window shopping inside the Makati malls. No one to walk with along EDSA then crossing Pasay Road. At the start of the shift, I go to the coffee nook to get two sets of mug, glass, teaspoon, Milo and Nescafe and then it just makes me OA-ly sad that I just have to get A SET! When I look at the contacts of my office communicator, his name would be greyed out and labeled 'presence unknown'. I'm dreading it!!! The middle of the start and the end of the shift brings me a lot of things. But for the past two years, it has been easier with him just SO NEAR. A breakdown or overjoy, it's immediately shared with him. He is a constant reminder of who I should be. And at the strike of the end of the shift we either walk together along Ayala Avenue or he walks me to my shuttle. BUT COME LATER IT WOULD BE TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!
How could I be this self-absorbed! Not thinking that it might be harder for him. It will totally be a new environment to him while I remain in this comfort zone (except that he's taken away from this zone). I must look at the brighter side -- how cliche and how easier than done these words are.
And as this huge change arrive in front of both of us, I just know that through prayers, trust -- in Him and in the both of us -- this too shall pass. At the brighter side, we just know that being in one company is not for forever. We both need to grow up and hopefully as we do, our bonded relationship also does. As your dreams are starting to unfold, and as we wait for mine, we will hand in hand face them. I will miss our random everydayness. This won't be easy -- the hard consequences of getting used to. But we will eventually get through this and happily look back that we've indeed made it through.
I pray for all the strength, patience, knowledge and wisdom that you'll need. I may not be as near as I was before as a visible reminder of a helping hand, listening ears and shoulder to cry on, but I'm still near, though not visible, but inside of you (BBM, text, email, call, snail mail?? Thank God for technology!). God bless you on your next journey! I love you!